Theres someone here that I really love, but, i... I just hope that they could hate me. There are two people, im not saying names, but, lets name them... H1 and H2.
H1 and I have been besties for longer than I have other besties irl, i love her very much and, well, i feel inlove with her. But, i just cant help the fact on noticing how stupid i am for felling inlove, again. I promised to not like anyone, but, i just cant help it when i looked at her at first sight. I loved her, i liked her, but, i... Well, i kept it shut, like how it should be, i cornered myself, not even one person, ive ever told my feelings. Idk what to feel anymore, its a mox of sadness, anger, guilt, dissappointment. I know if i tell them, theyll forgive me, but, i just cant help the fact that... They, have no reason, or excuses, to not hate me. I jist want them to hate me, not even talk to me, see me as someone who isnt lovable at all. It hurts, but, i just cant let her go. I want her to be here, with me. I need her, but, she doesnt need me. I just want to corner myself and just admit how stupid i am, and just end this pain.
H2 is also a bestie pf mine, H1 and H2 are shipped, and I support it more than anything. (Add the fact I like H1 and then they got together) I felt like I insulted her, I felt like I betrayed her. I did something, that she forgave, but it made me so shocked that I (also) want her to just hate me. I just hope, they, don't see me in this pain, i want to keep them a smile, a pure smile, I want to hide the pain. But, everytime I think about them (or it) I just cover my