I'm so sick and tired of this constant numbness. This continual disconnection from everyone and everything. I don't feel like I'm really here anymore. I barely know who I am. I'm just a reflection of everyone I meet. I take their good traits and mirror them. I don't really have my own personality, do i? If I do I don't know what it is. I can't tell. I barely feel alive anymore. It doesn't feel like I'm actually here. I feel like an illusion. A space filler. I sit with my hand resting with my fingertips on my windpipe and the temptation to just claw and tear it out of my throat is overwhelming. Would anyone notice if I left? Would anyone *care*? Doesn't feel like it. I could die today and nobody would care. I'm just kind of here. No purpose to fufill, no one to please. I'm just. Here.
I'm sorry for wasting your time.