I've been feeling weird recently, like I don't even know if any of these are real or something?

Like none of the things I do matter in any way, because even if I did whatever is the best thing to do, everything will soon come to an end. Everything around me is just temporary, they'll be gone soon, I'll be gone soon.
I know it may take a long time for me to vanish from reality, but it just ends, you know? Whether if I live my best or worst, whether I achieve something good or not, it just really ends like that. I could live happily, but when the end draws close all the happiness I had will suddenly turn into sadness, and I would wish that the end wouldn't come sooner, I could live miserably, but all my life I would feel pain and misery and wish for the end to come sooner. Sometimes, the end comes in the most unexpected time and I'm not ready for it. But why do I need to be ready for it? Even if I did achieve things I would lose them once I die, so I have no reason to be "ready or not ready" when the time comes. I feel like everything is just a simulation, just like a game (like those games where you could decide between options and each option would lead to a different ending), but you can't start over again.


I seriously need help rn what's going on with me