I’m ok now
Vent???
I finally realized why I wasn’t doing the best and I fixed it. Ever since I can remember anytime my parents got into a fight and I cried, my dad would twist it in his own way and use me crying against my mom to make her seem like a bad person. So, I still remember my childhood, but I shut my emotions off for years. Then anytime my little sister would cry when they would fight, my dad would use it against my mom. I would get mad at my little sister and yell at her to stop crying because it wouldn’t ever help. She just straight up thought I didn’t care about my parents marriage. I didn’t realize that I had let my guard down and turned my emotions back on. Which is probably why I keep twitching, I’m extremely stressed, and I have a hard time focusing on stuff. A while ago my parents got into a really bad fight and I ended up crying. My mom left the house for a couple of minutes to cool down. However, my dad was trying to use me to convince her not to leave. He was scaring me really bad and I didn’t want to be left alone with him. So, I was crying, screaming, and begging my mom to stay because I didn’t want my dad to get mad at me for not being able to keep her home. My dad however was recording the whole thing. He then called a friend of ours and tried manipulating and twisting the story to try and get my mom in trouble. I can’t tell you how mad I was about it because he was also trying to make it seem like my mom was crazy. I was afraid to speak up though. I didn’t understand why I acted like that. Until today. My parents got into another fight during lunch and he tried blaming it on me. He said that mr stupidity is what caused it when it was his actions that did. After I found out about my crush is dating someone else all the negative emotion that I had just built up was probably too much for my body. The other day one of my close friends told me that I didn’t have to bottle everything up. I knew something felt wrong and that I didn’t want to let everything out. I couldn’t remember why though. I do now after lunch though.
I finally realized why I wasn’t doing the best and I fixed it. Ever since I can remember anytime my parents got into a fight and I cried, my dad would twist it in his own way and use me crying against my mom to make her seem like a bad person. So, I still remember my childhood, but I shut my emotions off for years. Then anytime my little sister would cry when they would fight, my dad would use it against my mom. I would get mad at my little sister and yell at her to stop crying because it wouldn’t ever help. She just straight up thought I didn’t care about my parents marriage. I didn’t realize that I had let my guard down and turned my emotions back on. Which is probably why I keep twitching, I’m extremely stressed, and I have a hard time focusing on stuff. A while ago my parents got into a really bad fight and I ended up crying. My mom left the house for a couple of minutes to cool down. However, my dad was trying to use me to convince her not to leave. He was scaring me really bad and I didn’t want to be left alone with him. So, I was crying, screaming, and begging my mom to stay because I didn’t want my dad to get mad at me for not being able to keep her home. My dad however was recording the whole thing. He then called a friend of ours and tried manipulating and twisting the story to try and get my mom in trouble. I can’t tell you how mad I was about it because he was also trying to make it seem like my mom was crazy. I was afraid to speak up though. I didn’t understand why I acted like that. Until today. My parents got into another fight during lunch and he tried blaming it on me. He said that mr stupidity is what caused it when it was his actions that did. After I found out about my crush is dating someone else all the negative emotion that I had just built up was probably too much for my body. The other day one of my close friends told me that I didn’t have to bottle everything up. I knew something felt wrong and that I didn’t want to let everything out. I couldn’t remember why though. I do now after lunch though.
