artstyle is original, i like it tho and you should keep going! but one thing, i would reccomend making the spaces between the pannels more visible, and less dialogue because it looks like hxh pages, the reader must see something not too boring but yet not too fast (i hope you understand) besides that, great work!

and i recomend getting more comfy with coloring, try to learn some color theory( you can watch vids on youtube etc. ) becauee for example the red background doesnt go well, if it was blue it should be better cuz yellow and blue are the opositte colors (they would go well if you use them with skill) and use a little bit of blue lightning on the face and done!
hope this helped :)

honestly its a really good concept, i would reccomend using more grayscales so it wont feel blank in some pages, besides that i hope youll get better at time, also friendly advise- dont make large mangas, just start by doing one shots because if you want to make larger ones, you must know that to gain popularity you either would have to release chapters weekly, anyways hope you have a great career and work hard!

love the unique style, the body is well drawn, i reccomend trying to find out a kind of better style for faces since they look kinda too much square-like but its just my opinion. good job anyways

good start! youre quite good at making covers, also i can reccomend you some things that i would take as useful so the first, practice panneling i mean this might seem funny right but what makes a manga actual manga is the pannels and of course frames in those, what i meant that give space between the frames and just give it a relaxing look also give space on the
"safe spaces" on the pages (if you use ibis paint you can see them) you know what i mean, i must say youre really good at the writing, and i reccomend you practicing drawing background or just if youre lazy artist like me learning when to use backgrounds when really necessary, thats all i think i hope youll suceed you can check mine if you want, hard work will pay :D

So i did read it and ill give sincere opinion on this so; ill start from good thing in your manga - youre surely good at panneling pages and its always good to read, but i think the pages are too often dynamic and this can make reader quite bored, i reccomend using 1 pannel or 2 if needed if the page shows a dynamic scene and you know, and the other good thing is the sotry, but what i reccomend you is work slightly on faces, i mean me myself i prefer traditional art and i kind of hate the digital feeling, but just train faces because some of the eyes just feel off, its nice of you to actually have your own style but some things are off, look for other manga artstyles, combine them with your work etc etc. untill youl manage to draw in your own unique artsyle, and i think thats it, but this story is good so keep up the work and believe in yourself and the hard work

thanks, im going to read it and ill comment

DAMNNN THE COVER IS INSANE! and story and panneling too!

yeah i know it supossed to be longer but this isnt full chapter 1 , i cant edit the number of chapter, but this is like chapter 0.5 the another one wkll be longer