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good effort and an intresting story line. If I were to give critique then I would say that you should improve on three accounts. First, your story telling needs to improve. It's not that the storyline was completely unitresting but rather that the odd page flow confuses the reader and hurts the story telling. Second, your panels have little variety, making each shot feel like a copy of many that came before it. and Last I would recommend anatomy study to get better at your fullbody shots/busts though when you zoomed in your art was quite good. Keep practicing and studying manga and I'm intrested to see what you do next.

pretty good art in terms of shading. but I would like to see a better-crafted story.

Special thanks to "Ramsureth" for his help with writing
art by Micky

excellent manga

Not bad! I'm looking to see where this goes