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im a dirty rat that needs rhymes to live

[tommys exile]

"salty sand"

it was only an accident
the little boy pleaded
but it was still malicious
his cries were not heeded

walls rose up
unlike his empty threats
the smile had one dream
the president had stress

the little boy begged and begged
the president said its best for the nation
his cabinet protested and cried
the boy was sent off wearing humiliation

the walls went down
the smile escorted
sounds fell silent
faces were contorted

at least once a week
the smile would visit
the boy gained and lost and lost
and he grew sick of it

months and months of the vicious cycle
the sand tasted salty
explosions he faced every day
he cried when only the smile came to his party

the sand and plains were driving him mad
whenever the smile came he was filled with dread
no one came and all he loved was gone
in front of lava he prayed to be dead

for he was a boy
and he couldnt take any more
hit the breaking point and fled to a friend
explained it all and he'd protect him, he swore

but sometimes it has to happen
it will never leave your mind
it will take time to forget salty sand
but there will always be others of your kind

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something i would wear,,

anyways um so for my bday or around then i guess my mom is gonna take me shopping,, i really dont want to but i dont have the heart to tell her that because when she suggested it she got really excited,, honestly for my birthday i dont even wanna celebrate, i dont really like celebrations in general
i guess the main reason im opposed to shopping is because shes gonna take me to look at spring clothes and im 80% sure shes gonna have me try on skirts and dresses or floral shortsleeves..just..things that arent my style and that i wont wear and that will make my dysphoria worse..but i mean hey at least my dad re-ordered the frog jumper from another listing and if all goes well it will arrive between the 30th and the 2nd.
i just dont know how to feel rn because i just dont want my birthday to be celebrated. i dont want anything. i dont want cake or whatever. i dont want to watch a movie. id honestly rather just treat it like any other day and do my homework and watch yt and play mc or draw. i just really hope that with the shopping thing, that my mom womt try and and push her fashion on me and actually let me pick out things id like. idk tho. she always tries to make her interests my interests and her beliefs my beliefs and just mould me into her. sorry about the vent, im just really upset rn.

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