So thing that ik a lot of ppl won't see so I'm posting this now B)

When I've experienced something sad, I ignore it. I just pretend it never happened and live my life. But I especially do this with happy memories.
For example I've had multiple occasions where I've had to leave friends because I'm moving houses or schools or a close friend disappeared and no one's heard from them.

When something like that happens I force myself to either forget the person entirely or ignore I ever met them. If I remember them by being reminded with something I'll take like a minute or two being happy about it, but then really depressive. So I shove it back in my head.

If you know me and we're separated somehow, I will pretend I never met you. I will not think of you for months, even years.

And I hate myself for ever meeting you. It's something I've been doing my entire life. Especially when I'd had to move schools so often.

When I was frozen from Medi I tried to ignore meeting everyone I had met which is why I didn't do much when I came back. I didn't want people to get too excited for me coming back.

I constantly shove things aside. And I hate myself for doing that because only if I never met this person, I wouldn't be feeling like this now. I wouldn't be shoving every memory I have of them to the back of my brain.