As to why . . .
As to why i havent been posting much...to be simple with it, life.
Also a general CW/TW for a minor vent ig. I know people don't like that and thats fine. This is an art site after all
Lmao.
Everything in my damn life has made me start to believe no one really cares about what I have to show, yknow? Everyone does so much better than me and I just don't know why I should keep trying to please people. Like only three people in my life TRULY want to talk to me and want to know about my art. I just don't understand what I did wrong to be treated like nothing more than another spec in the endless abyss of this dumbass world. I want to share the art I make with people without feeling ashamed, without fearing losing them. Hell, it took me like 3 years to finally tell basically my closest friend about the art I make. Why I make it, who I make it for, WHAT I make it for. They didn't seem to care (in a good way) about it but I know they are the only one who will react this way. I told them about stuff even more personal to me and they were supportive. When I had even just asked another friend about the idea of the thing they were explaining how they didn't understand why people would do that, and they they didn't care for it at all. I just don't want to tell them about it and lose them. Everything I do they have at one point made fun of others for, without knowing I do or have these things. I worry that if my friend doesn't care..why would other strangers care on the internet? I'm not some famous creator, I'm not popular, and I don't care about that. I'm not here for fame or anything, I'm here to feel valid. To feel like I am an artist who people would WANT to see. An artist who when people see my characters or my art go "oh its that one person!" I don't want to be known by name, I want to be known by art.
I make no sense but my mother is now bullying me for finally venting to her. I don't wanna continue living anymore. Genuinely.
Also a general CW/TW for a minor vent ig. I know people don't like that and thats fine. This is an art site after all
Lmao.
Everything in my damn life has made me start to believe no one really cares about what I have to show, yknow? Everyone does so much better than me and I just don't know why I should keep trying to please people. Like only three people in my life TRULY want to talk to me and want to know about my art. I just don't understand what I did wrong to be treated like nothing more than another spec in the endless abyss of this dumbass world. I want to share the art I make with people without feeling ashamed, without fearing losing them. Hell, it took me like 3 years to finally tell basically my closest friend about the art I make. Why I make it, who I make it for, WHAT I make it for. They didn't seem to care (in a good way) about it but I know they are the only one who will react this way. I told them about stuff even more personal to me and they were supportive. When I had even just asked another friend about the idea of the thing they were explaining how they didn't understand why people would do that, and they they didn't care for it at all. I just don't want to tell them about it and lose them. Everything I do they have at one point made fun of others for, without knowing I do or have these things. I worry that if my friend doesn't care..why would other strangers care on the internet? I'm not some famous creator, I'm not popular, and I don't care about that. I'm not here for fame or anything, I'm here to feel valid. To feel like I am an artist who people would WANT to see. An artist who when people see my characters or my art go "oh its that one person!" I don't want to be known by name, I want to be known by art.
I make no sense but my mother is now bullying me for finally venting to her. I don't wanna continue living anymore. Genuinely.
