I really really really really want to get away from her as soon as possible for my mental health but I just can't. I refuse to believe that she doesn't want to be my friend anymore, I refuse to believe that we are nothing anymore, I refuse to believe that she already traded me for someone better than me, I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT SHE ALREADY HAS A BRIDE, WHY HER AND NOT ME?!??1?1!1!1!1!1!12!!2! She just talked to me again and in the first few days I thought, wow, this girl still wants me to be her friend, but days of attention later she stopped talking to me. Now I feel like it's not worth it to continue that friendship but there is something that makes it so I can't just cut off the friendship. We've been friends for two fucking years but now I don't think we're anything anymore. I cut the friendship since October and I don't know how BUT HOW IS IT THAT SHE WROTE ME AGAIN I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SEES IN ME IF I AM NO LONGER ANYTHING ON THIS PLANET, I AM NO LONGER ANYTHING IN HER LIFE I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTED OR WANTED. I AM NOT GOING TO PUT UP WITH ANOTHER SECOND MORE AS SHE IS BETTER WITH SOMEONE ELSE, BRAGGING ABOUT HER FRIENDSHIP IN HER WHATSAPP STATUSES. I don't understand anything, I don't know how we went from talking often to only sending each other two messages a month. I don't understand what I did wrong, because I am a very boring person? I was never enough or someone special to you? I really hate you and I love you, I want to let you go but at the same time I do not. Thank you so much for being a very special friend throughout the pandemic (10/2020) thank you so much for taking the time to read my venting and give me advice but now you don't even do that. Now I am the one advising you and I took the time to read your little venting and now that I am venting, what do you do? Nothing, you just leave me in the dark. I don't understand why you make me suffer this way, just tell me why you don't love me like before. Just tell me why I have to depend so much on you if we're not friends anymore.