I just keep imagining me and Kayla meeting. Like, I finally have a car, we make plans to meet, and then finally do. I’d take her ice skating because we said that would be our first date. I’d spoil her with hugs and kisses because our time together would be limited. We’d cuddle and watch movies. Go out for food. Hold hands. It would be the best day (or days) ever. I’d be so happy, that I don’t think I’d stop smiling...
But...
That can’t ever happen. Because I’m not allowed to online date. I’ve already gotten in trouble for it once... and it was bad. Idk why my mom is stopping me from having happiness, and finally feeling good. It makes me sad, to the point where I’m crying. Kayla means so damn much to me, and I don’t want to lose her because my parents don’t agree with how I find love.
Thankfully, they know I’m bisexual, so I don’t have to come out about that.
I’m just... scared. Scared that I’ll lose her. Scared that I’ll lose one of the few people that make me happy. Scared that I’ll lose everything...
Sorry, I just needed to vent. Ever since I went back to school, I’m kinda beginning to realize why I wanted to die. I mean, I don’t feel that way anymore, but.... sigh