does this mean that you lied? you lied to me? so what should I believe? am I monster like the thoughts say or am I an amazing person like you said? like you said when you lied. There you go and f**k things up again and now he's in distress and it's all your fault. Maybe I would do something. something to show you how horrible you are but I guess this was partially my doing. it always is. I am a monster. a horrible human really. but I still act like I deserve all this when I don't. But I'll stay. I'll stay in this comfortable uncomfortableness. I mean I'm pretty sure it's just in my head. it always is.