“If you or a loved one have recently purchased or consumed HarmlessMart 300th Anniversary oranges, you may be eligible for compensation. It’s recently come to our attention that some of our customers were under the impression that our recent line of HarmlessMart 300th Anniversary oranges are food. We’re here to set the record straight: feeding someone one of these oranges would legally be considered assault with a deadly weapon. They’re not meant to be ingested, or even really interacted with. "