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the truth
I've been super unmotivated the past few days. I have really wanted to draw but just haven't had any effort/ energy to do it. I want to animate some animation memes but I'm too unmotivated and lazy, I have so many things I need to draw. Adopts, animation memes, amv's, short animations. I scrapped 2 videos because of all this.

My mental state is fine I'm not sad or anything its just whenever I sit down and start drawing my mind gets bored halfway through and the drawing never gets finished. I'm putting less and less effort into my art if you couldn't tell. I really want to draw more but I just cant right now. I also feel like I cant take a break because then I'll feel even more unmotivated coming back to drawing.

School as also not been helping with all this either. My art teacher is still a bitch and I have to take her class this semester too (Im dropping out as soon as possible btw), I have to sit right in front of that fucking homophobic harasser now in homeroom and social studies, AND I just started gym and the teacher has already left a bad impression of herself on my because she told somebody to call names for the seating chart and shit but the person speaking was like whispering and I was sitting in the very back of the classroom so when they called my name I didn't hear shit, they kept reading and the teacher was like "I kNow YoU HeARd YoUr NAmE, MIdNigHt." When again I didn't hear shit cuz the person reading was whispering and I just shake my head like "No I did not." AND SHE GOES "Yes you did now get up her." what I wanted to say was "Well I'm sorry you think that because the person reading these names is mumbling the names I have fucking super hearing or some shit and can hear all the way in the front of class from the back. But I mean go off I guess." I again only wanted to say that I dint actually say it.

I also went to the doctor for my checkup and they gave me a flu shot so you know, left arm is in pain. Also I might have some kind of heart disease. The doctor said my heart has a murmur idk what the fuck that means but she wants me to get it checked out in a couple of months so we can be sure its not anything like cancer or some shit idk. My entire left side of my body has just given up, the spot where I scrapped my ankle is still sensitive and has a huge scar, my left arm is in pain from the flu shot, and my heart could be dying.

I don't have any school tomorrow bc its supposed to snow but I cant guarantee any art will come out. I have just lost all motivation and just need to take a fucking break from all this. I'm going to try and play stardew valley over the weekend bc ill be at my dads and just try to forget about drawing for a day or two.

I'm still doing the private collab and drawing other adopts i might have, they just might not get drawn until later this week or next week.

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