I'm sorry I've not been here, and I'm sorry I've felt like I've had to been here. Looking back I was trying too hard to fit in and I shouldn't have cared so much about being known, there is so much stuff I want to share but I feel like it's not worth it to even try anymore. I know that's selfish and I'm sorry for that but I've never felt good enough, I kept trying to make friends with good artists and I never really got anywhere, I was just another annoying new kid. I'm not even trying anymore, I'm constantly at breaking point and I feel insecure about anything I do now, because I feel like people that are better than me won't care. I don't know what to do anymore, I keep wanting to be a better person but I feel like its not worth it anymore. I keep coming back here for no reason to post memes, or to comment, or some other thing just to feel involved again. Everyone I know is gone, everyone I could have gotten to know is too busy doing well and I feel like I don't belong here anymore, or I never did. I had plans and I imagined so many happy scenarios but I feel like I've just messed up so bad that they're just silly daydreams. I'm not sure what to do, I'm being so incompetent and selfish right now and I do apologize, I don't know what else to say anymore. I do hope you're all well, and I hope that in the next life or whatever I'll have more time to get to know you all better, thanks for your time everyone