/unreality




please
can someone just tell me that
everything is real.
days go by and suddenly its been four years
suddenly
everything is different
things that happened ages ago feel recent, recent things feel like ages ago
my memory pools together and constructs fake events that im convinced happened
i cant take this anymore
nothing is real is it
i cant remember people or things
or events
my brain is filled with strange paranoias
i could come home from school and my family is dead
i could get j=hit by a car at any second
people could bust down the walls and come out and hurt me
amy could text me even though i saw her in the casket
4 years have passed
i dont remember hardly any of it
memories break apart and stretch and get out of order as an attempt to cover up all that ive forgotten
i dont
i dont understand
why is the earth broken into so many pieces
why am i alone
but never alone
why cant i form complete sentences in my head before saying them
why is my house so unfamiliar to me
why does sometimes my body feel contorted and twisted
help
i need this to end
i cant take this anymore
im so fucking close to my limit
if i dont get help soon, i
i dont know what im going to do to myself
please
someone
anyone
help me