I forgot what I was gonna do today. And you know what, that's ok. Sometimes its nice to live head empty with no thoughts or schedule. Although that's kinda everyday for me, and when I do think its usually very jumbled up and hard to tell what I'm even thinking about. Sometimes I wish I couldn't think, that would be nice, not feeling overwhelmed with thoughts all the time. That would be nice. I think this is turning into a vent.

Although, for the longest amount of time I have wondered if maybe I'm not "normal" like others. I often get called weird or I just mess stuff up in ways "normal people wouldn't. Maybe that's why I don talk to anybody irl and constantly worry about what others think of me. I try to make everybody's perspective on me good so when somebody doesn't view me as "normal" too, well I cant explain what it does to me. I'm a very emotional person, I often bottle up my emotions and act like I don't care.

Because we all know the stereotype that girls are sensitive by nature. I also don't like most "girl" things, I hate the color pink, if you put me in a dress they wont find your body, makeup is a big no, I don't like K-pop or pop, I don't like flowers or cute things, I like cyborg ninjas with cool swords and demons who don't pay their child support, I like scary things and weird things, I like indie music and rock music, I like making ocs with insane personalities or maybe they are insane, I like suits and dark colors, I like drawing and memes. I also go on tangents a lot, like I just did.

I cant explain my though process to people because I don't even know my thought process. All I know is that it works. I think that's why digital art interested me so much. There is no right way to do it. I also tend to panic a lot more than usual. I get scared over the simplest of things, and if you take me to a special event or a even a movie I will freak out and I might even have a panic attack. School certainly doesn't help with that.

But I haven't been diagnosed with anything that would suggest I'm "different" yet. I was always told I was smarter than the other kids and even got into an AIG group for a couple of years in elementary school. A lot of these traits that I have (and haven't) mentioned are all things that can be found on the autism spectrum. I have looked into that but again I haven't been diagnosed with anything by any doctor so it cant be that. Right?


I don't think I'm normal.

I am normal?

𝗡𝗼.

𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗱.

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹.

Can you leave me alone? I'm trying to talk to my followers. This is my post.

𝗦𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

Fuck off.

I'm normal.

Right?

Maybe not.

Maybe I'm broken.

Yeah.

I'm broken that's what.

If I don't have anything wrong with me according to my medical records, I'm just broken.

I'm am broken.

I'm broken.

Broken, that's me.

:)