"Adult" hood is the worst
I hate being 18 honestly
I'll see people all over the internet and irl expect that you automatically become super mature and stuff right when you turn 18-19, like no, I'd rather consider myself an adult when I'm 25 because that's when the brain is fully developed, so it seems more accurate to say that's when adulthood begins
I'm still in high school even, I'm so stupid and there's some things in school that kids know that I don't because my parents are so busy all the time and I have a hard time processing information
Thankfully my mom isn't making me rush adulthood unlike my brother and dad
My brother keeps saying that now that I'm 18 I can do literally whatever u want, but that's not true. I still set rules for myself, I'm not just gonna do whatever I want
And my dad puts so much pressure on learning how to drive
But I'm terrified
What if I crash? What if I accidentally drive off the mountain road? I'm not good at seeing signs either so crashing and getting lost is extremely likely
"Just pay attention" okay but how? How do you learn to "pay attention"? What is the process to learning anything at all? What are the specific steps? As I get older and older things become more and more confusing to me, I don't understand anything, what do people mean by " just knowing something "? How do you " just know" something? How do you know how to know?
I wish I could go back
I wish I could go back and tell my younger self not to get rid of her toys, to spend her remaining years as long as possible instead of making this year go by in a flash
I wish younger me hadn't lost her innocence due to getting into politics, which I deep!y regret now and want nothing to do with
Because of younger me rushing to grow up I now feel myself going backwards, buying toys again despite my dad saying "how old are you again?"
I wish I could go back to where I didn't care what people thought of me, I wish I could go back and regain the innocence that has been lost by accident
Even the teenage life movies show is far from the truth, I've been stuck in isolation for the past 6 years instead of making irl friends and going shopping with them and doing fun things
I miss it
I wish I could return
Return to the fun, the innocence, without the pressure and the stress, I wish I could go back to the time where the things that made me cry most was just having food I disliked, instead of now where I'm getting a major existential crisis every few weeks
I don't have a will to live at times, but even then I have no will to truly die
And the struggles of being the youngest child, feeling like you are useless and unwanted
I wish I could go back
I'll see people all over the internet and irl expect that you automatically become super mature and stuff right when you turn 18-19, like no, I'd rather consider myself an adult when I'm 25 because that's when the brain is fully developed, so it seems more accurate to say that's when adulthood begins
I'm still in high school even, I'm so stupid and there's some things in school that kids know that I don't because my parents are so busy all the time and I have a hard time processing information
Thankfully my mom isn't making me rush adulthood unlike my brother and dad
My brother keeps saying that now that I'm 18 I can do literally whatever u want, but that's not true. I still set rules for myself, I'm not just gonna do whatever I want
And my dad puts so much pressure on learning how to drive
But I'm terrified
What if I crash? What if I accidentally drive off the mountain road? I'm not good at seeing signs either so crashing and getting lost is extremely likely
"Just pay attention" okay but how? How do you learn to "pay attention"? What is the process to learning anything at all? What are the specific steps? As I get older and older things become more and more confusing to me, I don't understand anything, what do people mean by " just knowing something "? How do you " just know" something? How do you know how to know?
I wish I could go back
I wish I could go back and tell my younger self not to get rid of her toys, to spend her remaining years as long as possible instead of making this year go by in a flash
I wish younger me hadn't lost her innocence due to getting into politics, which I deep!y regret now and want nothing to do with
Because of younger me rushing to grow up I now feel myself going backwards, buying toys again despite my dad saying "how old are you again?"
I wish I could go back to where I didn't care what people thought of me, I wish I could go back and regain the innocence that has been lost by accident
Even the teenage life movies show is far from the truth, I've been stuck in isolation for the past 6 years instead of making irl friends and going shopping with them and doing fun things
I miss it
I wish I could return
Return to the fun, the innocence, without the pressure and the stress, I wish I could go back to the time where the things that made me cry most was just having food I disliked, instead of now where I'm getting a major existential crisis every few weeks
I don't have a will to live at times, but even then I have no will to truly die
And the struggles of being the youngest child, feeling like you are useless and unwanted
I wish I could go back
