What did I do wrong
What can I change in the next relationship
Well that is if I’m even going to have another one
But still
Was I too annoying?
Was I not there for you enough?
I want to know what I did wrong
So I can fix it...
It hurts...
So much...
I cry every night about you..
I shouldn’t...
but I do..
It’s “weird and creepy”
No
It’s called I loved someone
Would you be heartbroken too?
Be stuck with damn emotions that shouldn’t be there?
Are you me?
No
So stfu
And sit down...
...
And then all channels into anger...
I take it out on myself way more then I do on people...
Everyday at school I’m quiet, stressed, tired
I almost fall asleep everytime I have my first 2 periods
Yet I go to sleep at a normal time and wake up at a normal time
Is it just stress?
That’s what everyone is telling me
...
I also have to go see my dad the week after Christmas..
That’s making me even more angry and frustrated
I mean my mom said if we don’t want to be there we can just tell the lady we don’t want to see him before the visit..
Oh yeah
Wanna know what’s ironic?
So we’re doing visits at a place for women’s who’ve been abused—
Just guess what put my dad in jail all those time,
Fucking physical abuse towards all his girlfriends!!
It’s like getting a cat but your whole family is allergic
It’s just so dumb
I need to tell him...
I can’t keep it a secret...
Maybe he’ll get his shit together if I do...
But what if he doesn’t...
What if he breaks down and get even lower in life...
What if he tries to...
I hate thinking about it...
The time he called my mom crying...
I ease-dropped through the wall...
And he has tried to... hang himself... twice...
And I don’t want to be the cause of that!...
It freaks me out too much...
—
Holy shit is this a mess..