Fuck you. You’re not allowed to get mad at me for not being able to feel love. Do you know how many times I’ve been double-crossed? How many times I’ve been fucked over by someone? How I fell so far into love, I thought they were the one, only to see them making out with someone else behind the school when I was too fucking scared to go to the front because of girls who said they were going to beat my ass? Too many times to count. So you can’t fucking get mad at me for not loving you. You can’t get mad that I have trust issues. You can’t get MAD at me for only being in a relationship with you for one to two months because it hurts to be in one in the first place. You have no right to tell me I’m worthless and a jerk because I can’t physically feel love. I’m SORRY my mental health is a burden for you, it wasn’t my intention. I do hope you understand one day, and maybe you’ll look back and realize what a hypocrite you were. I’m SORRY I’m not good enough for you to the point where you had to cheat on me. I’m SORRY I made you feel love, meanwhile I was hurting myself because of lying about it, and eventually broke up with you, therefore hurting you. I’m SORRY you have to say you love me and I can’t say it back because I can’t feel it. I’m SORRY that you had feelings for me and I had them for you, only to be traded in for another girl. You really didn’t deserve me, you didn’t. I never deserved love either, it’s okay. You will never see me in a dress with a date because I don’t know how to get and keep one. It’s okay. At least my brothers will live up to your expectations. Thank you for beating me down. Thank you for making me feel like shit. Thank you for showing me what love isn’t. Thank you so, so much for showing me that I can’t mentally and physically feel love. I want to thank everyone that has come into my life, into my brain and seeing the secrets I keep, and spilling them out into the world for others to enjoy and laugh at. You are all wonderful people, and I hope you find the love and happiness I cannot. <3
Notice how even when I’m angry, I can’t let go?