My birthday is in 2 weeks,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I'm not happy

I don't like talking about my birthday
I don't like organizing my birthday
I don't like my mom getting so mad because of it



It's not that I'm scared of her
I don't care anymore if she's mad at me
But why is she so,,, idk stressing
I'm in a bad mood everytime I'm at home alone with her, I always feel like she wants to start an argument, or at least scold me,,,

She's always belittling me, judging me, or pissed off because of me
She insults me, she thinks everything I want to do is worthless, she never listens to my point of view in things, she doesn't want to try understanding me
She just calls me "stronza", "malata mentale", "moribonda", "insensibile"
She thinks I'm a waste, she tells me she regrets having me, she tells me she wants to leave her own family and never come back, she tells me that I should be recovered in a mental hospital and that the only way to make me change at this point is by giving me meds and making me go to therapy

She's trying to blame everything on me
all the times she realizes she's not a good mother
all the times I refuse to talk to her
all the cries and yells and scolds and arguments
she just thinks it's my fault



I've had enough of her, that's the only point

She's not normal



Sometimes I think she's right
She shouldn't have become a mother