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I wasted it.
I should have done something.
The awards ceremony was last night.
Here were all these kids getting thousands of dollars in scholarships.
I got three hundred and fifteen.
Great
I can get one book.
I’ve been trying. It’s not like I’ve been 100% apathetic. But nonetheless it wasn’t enough.
It’s over now. It’s too late.
Me and my parents had another fight because of it, too. But in my opinion you can push people gently and get results rather than roughly and make them annoyed.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m going to go in and ask about things that I’m certain I should have received, but will it be enough?
I’ve fought suicide so hard. It’s easy to decide on lethal injection right after high school. But I’ve fought it.
Honestly, I don’t know why.
Why did I have to be me? Couldn’t I be somebody else? Some rich kid that had his whole life ahead of him? Why do I have to be me? I have just proven I can’t be a responsible adult. So I don’t know what to do anymore.

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