austin’s taking me back to the guidance counselor today so I can explain how depressed I am. He’s really been keeping an eye on me to see if I won’t hurt myself, like I said the other day, he even had to change seats in our history class so he can watch me. Tbh I don’t like it but I do at the same time. I don’t like it because it feels like I need pain every second. I do like it because it makes me happy to know that he actually cares about me. Everyday at school he always says that he loves me. When I try hurting, he always holds my hands so I can’t claw myself with my nails or scratch myself until skin peels off. He doesn’t like the hair tie thing either but he has to let me do it cuz the guidance counselor said so. He doesn’t like that I’m bruising myself with it.