I was going to say somethings. I just don’t know if those things/ ideas are helpful. I’d like to be helpful but maybe helpful isn’t in my genes… 😅 I’ve been a bit of an insomniac lately have you ever read the manga or seen the anime insomniacs after school.
It’s rather interesting but I don’t think another person could be able to help me sleep like in that story. Oh and I’ve been hearing about people older than myself talking about wanting to live to like 90 something or 100. I don’t want to live for to long of a time.
Even though in the grand scale of eternity 100 years isn’t much of what it is here on earth. I want to have enough time to know that I’m really truly saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. But I don’t really want to be here longer than necessary but I’m not God duh so I don’t know what is or isn’t necessary but I’m getting tired of this life.
I want to go to heaven and ya impatient is my middle name but I’m hurting here (to sound the wuss whatever) I don’t want this old stinky flesh anymore. The bad habits I’m stuck in I wanna off them… lol 😆 I’m afraid that I’m not going to get into heaven I’ve wavered in my beliefs at times but I’ve believed in God since I was around ten years old. At times I’m still a brat but I was really a brat before I felt Jesus tugging. What am I to do with myself…. I want to leave myself in the dust, the song so long self by mercy me is what I want to do but I still got that selfishness in me holding myself back. I’ve been doing too much to stay friends with the world and I’m like silly lady the world is death so don’t be friends with the world, the world will tear you apart and spit you out at judgment day. I can’t go to where there is more pain, I can’t stand the kind we have here… 🥹