일러스트・만화 투고&SNS사이트 - ART street by MediBang

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☆ ÓwÒ ☆

um..there was one thing that actually made me happy today..it was an austlie moment..
•••
so the band had to stay after school to practice our marching today, me and austin are in the band. we practiced outside and it was 27 degrees today. I couldn’t wear my jacket cuz my friend got ketchup all over it at lunch ;-;
Austin is NEVER cold. he thinks 27 degrees feels perfectly fine. so he gave me his jacket and said,”eh, I don’t need it. here~” and of course my yandere self appeared. I kept hugging it and kept saying to my friends,”IT SMELLS LIKE HIM OML IT’S FABULOUS~” and my psycho smile was telling people,”touch it and you’re dead” and my face was extremely red and I was doing my yandere laugh and I cried cuz I was so happy and obsessive, austin thinks it’s absolutely adorable that I’m a yandere yet extremely shy at the same time, he also thought it was cute that the sleeves were covering my hands >////<

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☆ this is what happened.. ☆

when we were waiting for our teachers to get us from the cafeteria, austin walked up to me. he said,”kylie, your friends that you hang out with in the car rider line are planning to jump on you. like six of them.” I just went like ‘hmm?’ and he said,”kylie, they wanna fucking fight you.” I said,”how do you know?” and he said,”hey, it’ll be okay. talk to Cheyenne, she knows all about it.” and after that, I had a panic attack in the cafeteria. hunter was trying everything he could do to calm me down. he then said when we got in the classroom,”you’re freaking out, you need to go to the counselor.” so I went to go and none of our counselors were here today. so I went back to the classroom and told my teacher what’s happening, she said it’s best for me to talk to the principal. so when I was walking to his office I passed my friend Aubrey and she said,”have you heard what’s happening?” and I said,”yes..” she noticed me panicking and I told her I was on my way to the principals office. she came with me so she could make sure I was okay. we told the principal what happened and he called Cheyenne in to see what she heard. this is what she said:
“So I was in the bathroom hearing girls saying her name. When I came out they said,”is Kylie dating Austin?” and I answered yes. then one girl said,”oh my god. are you serious? I’m planning on fighting her ya know!” and I just walked off.”
•••
our principal asked if we knew the girls and I said,”I only know one but I don’t know her last name.” he said,”I know what we can do. I’ll look on the cameras. I’ll be able to see them. wait, actually, they’re in lunch right now. C’mon Cheyenne, we’re gonna find them.” so we all left and didn’t hear anything ever since..
guys..I’m scared..it hurts to know that someone wants to fight you because they like your boyfriend..I had four panic attacks..I was crying..it felt like I was being stabbed..

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Ur kidding

Well I’m not going to school today.
Why?
I passed out in the shower and almost gave my mom an anxiety, or well, I’m pretty she did have one
Boy was it scary...
I’ll talk about it in another post..
But I don’t want to go to the doctors..
I just wanna sleep.
Plus if I need blood drawn, I’m fucked.
I still have a few scars on my arm...
If they see it..
I-I’m screwed...
I’m super anxious about going bc of that..
I don’t wanna get caught..
Or get help for that matter...
Please let there be a miracle and have nobody see the scars...
Why did I have to go so deep...
If i didn’t..
I wouldn’t have to worry about someone seeing them...
I’m shaking...

Anyways..
Good morning and I hope everyone else has a better day then I have had so far ^^;

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☆ ;-; ☆

I really need to vent. I’ve been bottling up my feelings for a week..
•••
so uh, remember when I told you guys about those girls calling me a whore and slut. after I ranted about it, I didn’t mention anything about it like it wasn’t bothering me. the truth is, it’s bothering me. a lot. it hurts me. it makes me feel worthless. they don’t understand. I’m dating the guy who helped me through so much. he’s why I stopped cutting. he’s why I stopped attempting suicide. he’s why I never had a fake smile anymore. but my fake smile is back. I’m back to saying those lies. “I’m okay.” “I’m fine.” “I had a good day at school.” it’s because of those girls. I’m scared. I’m scared to go to school tomorrow. I have those girls in my history class. they make me feel completely worthless. I can’t take it anymore. I’m talking to the principal about this tomorrow.

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☆god damn..☆

I’m a bad girlfriend. I didn’t draw anything for Austin for our anniversary tomorrow. I wrote him a note why, this is what it says:
“I feel bad for not drawing something for you. It’s just, things have been kinda difficult for me.
- I’m dealing with art block.
- I’ve been really stressed lately and just can’t deal with stuff.
- I’ve been having headaches everyday.
-I’m having random anxiety attacks
I just can’t deal with life right now. but um..happy one month anniversary..I love you..”
I fucking suck..

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