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Random Gay Pissed Off Emotions

My lovely girl’s birthday was earlier this month. I had been told she would have one later in the month.
I finally put together about a week ago that I hadn’t received an invitation or discussion about it at all.
I have a suspicion Grace wasn’t allowed to have a party this year because her mom ( a slob who sleeps around all day leaving Grace and her two siblings to run the whole household while each being in a larger number of large/difficult 4H projects at once) keeps having Grace break up with friends since she herself tends to fight with other parents, like she did with my mom.
And what? Am I next? Even though perhaps i have already been and it’s just been unofficial?
Grace has been grounded for 3 months for losing a cheap water bottle at a park before, and she said she only sneaked back to her phone to have me calm her down from so much stress
And now, she’s apparently injured? And seemingly in a lot of pain? Ugh... I want to be there for her, but that’s kinda hard to do when her mom is.. so... ugh
I just want to be there - I want to see her-
Oh, and did I mention? Last birthday party of hers we almost kissed, we both haven’t forgotten that, I know...
Sorry for the vent I’m just being slowly torn apart inside : )

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John Laurens' turtle left a comment!

Random Gay Pissed Off Emotions

My lovely girl’s birthday was earlier this month. I had been told she would have one later in the month.
I finally put together about a week ago that I hadn’t received an invitation or discussion about it at all.
I have a suspicion Grace wasn’t allowed to have a party this year because her mom ( a slob who sleeps around all day leaving Grace and her two siblings to run the whole household while each being in a larger number of large/difficult 4H projects at once) keeps having Grace break up with friends since she herself tends to fight with other parents, like she did with my mom.
And what? Am I next? Even though perhaps i have already been and it’s just been unofficial?
Grace has been grounded for 3 months for losing a cheap water bottle at a park before, and she said she only sneaked back to her phone to have me calm her down from so much stress
And now, she’s apparently injured? And seemingly in a lot of pain? Ugh... I want to be there for her, but that’s kinda hard to do when her mom is.. so... ugh
I just want to be there - I want to see her-
Oh, and did I mention? Last birthday party of hers we almost kissed, we both haven’t forgotten that, I know...
Sorry for the vent I’m just being slowly torn apart inside : )

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John Laurens' turtle left a comment!

Vent


1. Now that 4H is over, my dear girl and I aren’t going to see each other until winter probably, and she’s going to forget about me, I know it. My best friend, the dearest person in my life, is going to forget about me. We’ve cuddled each other to sleep, we’ve danced together, and even almost died together, all well as more normal things, but she’ll forget it. She’ll forget me. I still love her more than myself, however, and perhaps this is for the best, seeing how ‘godly’ she is and how ‘sinful’ I am. I can’t tear myself away though... I just- how did I get so homoromantic? I’m disgusting, and I feel lesser than others because of how I feel about her.
We can’t even text because she feels that texting anyone drains her.
2. My mom meanwhile is demanding I give up my interests and hobbies, such as history, mythology, ART, and writing, because otherwise I’ll be a starving artist. So, I guess I’m finally giving up. Not like Medibang let’s me post stuff I actually want to post anymore. What I’ll do instead for hobbies, idk, but I’m at the line where it’s what I want or my safety, and my mom won’t compromise.

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Some more art

Also guys I’m still not 100% sure what to do, last night I remembered my phone had been wanting an update for almost a month (I’m slow with technology lol) so I updated it I’m hopes of fixing the problem, it didnt. I think I may end up using my account here for MySpace’s about traditional art idk. I hope to get a more stable DeviantArt account (rn I have one but my pareants don’t know so imma deactivate it soon probably and then make one they know about) plus an archiveofourown and Wattpad account so I can write more idk.

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