when you want to draw vent art but cant because you don't have the mental willpower to do it

Weellllll

I had three nightmares in a row last night... here they are.
Be warned, some of them (especially the second one) have some disturbing things in them...
In the first one, I was trapped in a burning building on one of the top floors during a huge earthquake. My family was one floor below me, and in fact they only came to let me know there was a fire and an earthquake after they had already packed and gotten ready to leave.
I never really... died or felt the earthquake, but I was pretty certain I was going to die. I never finished the nightmare.
In the second one, I was forced to go to a remote island covered in dark jungle and poisonous animals in permanent night with a bunch of other people. We were marched to a "hotel" at the top of a plateau on the north side of the island which looked dilapidated and run by insanely creepy things that looked like the grim reaper mashed up with dementors.
I was locked in a room with 14 other people, and there were weapons every 5 square feet of the room (guns, knives, shards of glass, etc.) and we were forced to kill and murder each other with the weapons on the floor.
I brutally murdered so many people I lost count... about seven? There was even one time where me and one of the last people alive were equally matched, and we had a shootout and both survived, and I kept throwing glass at him and it didn't work, so I tackled him to the ground and squeezed his throat until the veins burst and he died... and I imagined the whole thing very vividly... he was a white, tall, skinny boy with curly and wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, blue shirt and jeans, and an angular face. He kinda looked like NF...
I felt the boy's throat
It felt warm
I felt his pulsing veins inflate and I still remember his strangled, bubbly cries. It was soft and squishy and once he died his throat burst open because it couldn't take the pressure and my hands were covered in blood and even slipping inside the tears of the throat. I felt my hands on the inside of his throat...
Then, it was only me and one other girl left. I was completely overtaken with adrenaline and I was basically a killing machine instead of human. The girl took advantage of that and caught me off gaurd... she stabbed me in the stomach and I died...
The next nightmare was me and my "father". He looked nothing like my father, but I knew he was my father. Not my father irl, but my father in the dream. He was incredibly angry because I was gay, he even said he would murder me. He forced me into a torture room and advanced on me. Before I could react, he pulled out a knife and stabbed me in the heart, and I fell to the ground. He continued to stab me until I died, and even then he kept stabbing until my chest was ripped open and blood squirted all over him and his face, and he kept going...

Then he disposed of my body and that's when I woke up...

I had three nightmares in a row last night... here they are.
Be warned, some of them (especially the second one) have some disturbing things in them...
In the first one, I was trapped in a burning building on one of the top floors during a huge earthquake. My family was one floor below me, and in fact they only came to let me know there was a fire and an earthquake after they had already packed and gotten ready to leave.
I never really... died or felt the earthquake, but I was pretty certain I was going to die. I never finished the nightmare.
In the second one, I was forced to go to a remote island covered in dark jungle and poisonous animals in permanent night with a bunch of other people. We were marched to a "hotel" at the top of a plateau on the north side of the island which looked dilapidated and run by insanely creepy things that looked like the grim reaper mashed up with dementors.
I was locked in a room with 14 other people, and there were weapons every 5 square feet of the room (guns, knives, shards of glass, etc.) and we were forced to kill and murder each other with the weapons on the floor.
I brutally murdered so many people I lost count... about seven? There was even one time where me and one of the last people alive were equally matched, and we had a shootout and both survived, and I kept throwing glass at him and it didn't work, so I tackled him to the ground and squeezed his throat until the veins burst and he died... and I imagined the whole thing very vividly... he was a white, tall, skinny boy with curly and wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, blue shirt and jeans, and an angular face. He kinda looked like NF...
I felt the boy's throat
It felt warm
I felt his pulsing veins inflate and I still remember his strangled, bubbly cries. It was soft and squishy and once he died his throat burst open because it couldn't take the pressure and my hands were covered in blood and even slipping inside the tears of the throat. I felt my hands on the inside of his throat...
Then, it was only me and one other girl left. I was completely overtaken with adrenaline and I was basically a killing machine instead of human. The girl took advantage of that and caught me off gaurd... she stabbed me in the stomach and I died...
The next nightmare was me and my "father". He looked nothing like my father, but I knew he was my father. Not my father irl, but my father in the dream. He was incredibly angry because I was gay, he even said he would murder me. He forced me into a torture room and advanced on me. Before I could react, he pulled out a knife and stabbed me in the heart, and I fell to the ground. He continued to stab me until I died, and even then he kept stabbing until my chest was ripped open and blood squirted all over him and his face, and he kept going...

Then he disposed of my body and that's when I woke up...

I had three nightmares in a row last night... here they are.
Be warned, some of them (especially the second one) have some disturbing things in them...
In the first one, I was trapped in a burning building on one of the top floors during a huge earthquake. My family was one floor below me, and in fact they only came to let me know there was a fire and an earthquake after they had already packed and gotten ready to leave.
I never really... died or felt the earthquake, but I was pretty certain I was going to die. I never finished the nightmare.
In the second one, I was forced to go to a remote island covered in dark jungle and poisonous animals in permanent night with a bunch of other people. We were marched to a "hotel" at the top of a plateau on the north side of the island which looked dilapidated and run by insanely creepy things that looked like the grim reaper mashed up with dementors.
I was locked in a room with 14 other people, and there were weapons every 5 square feet of the room (guns, knives, shards of glass, etc.) and we were forced to kill and murder each other with the weapons on the floor.
I brutally murdered so many people I lost count... about seven? There was even one time where me and one of the last people alive were equally matched, and we had a shootout and both survived, and I kept throwing glass at him and it didn't work, so I tackled him to the ground and squeezed his throat until the veins burst and he died... and I imagined the whole thing very vividly... he was a white, tall, skinny boy with curly and wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, blue shirt and jeans, and an angular face. He kinda looked like NF...
I felt the boy's throat
It felt warm
I felt his pulsing veins inflate and I still remember his strangled, bubbly cries. It was soft and squishy and once he died his throat burst open because it couldn't take the pressure and my hands were covered in blood and even slipping inside the tears of the throat. I felt my hands on the inside of his throat...
Then, it was only me and one other girl left. I was completely overtaken with adrenaline and I was basically a killing machine instead of human. The girl took advantage of that and caught me off gaurd... she stabbed me in the stomach and I died...
The next nightmare was me and my "father". He looked nothing like my father, but I knew he was my father. Not my father irl, but my father in the dream. He was incredibly angry because I was gay, he even said he would murder me. He forced me into a torture room and advanced on me. Before I could react, he pulled out a knife and stabbed me in the heart, and I fell to the ground. He continued to stab me until I died, and even then he kept stabbing until my chest was ripped open and blood squirted all over him and his face, and he kept going...

Then he disposed of my body and that's when I woke up...

I'm bored save me

I'm bored save me

should I bring my son to school???

I'm spoiled, stupid, dumb, worthless, shitty, cavalier, apathetic, psychopathic, cold, naive, bratty, cowardly, sycophantish, trash, useless, pathetic, reactive, weird, ugly, skeletal, sacrificial, awkward, tactless, lonely, depressed, attention-seeking, guilty, angry, dangerous, manipulative, dirty, filthy, sinful, lustful, slutty, hurtful, harmful, terrible, abominable, disgusting, contemptuous, idiotic, asinine, apathetic, cynical, horrible, depraved, maniacal, untalented, uninspired, unmotivated, lazy, procrastinating, hateful, wrathful, envious, jealous, horny, greasy, pimply, neurotic, paranoid, jumpy, passive-aggressive, stubborn, obstinate, intractable, pliable, plastic, fake, fake-deep, dramatic, melodramatic, overworking, vexed, overexaggerating, lying, cheating, fraudulent, scummy, afraid, silent, unconfident, backstabbing, traitorous, double-crossing, abandoning, merciless, horrendous, chaotic, hypocritical, shy, jumpy, tentative, selfish, forgetful, ignorant, immature, gullible, and putrid.

I have 666 notifcations

I am learning asl(American sign language) if anyone else knows some feel free to tell me bcz I'm really interested in learning it.

I am learning asl(American sign language) if anyone else knows some feel free to tell me bcz I'm really interested in learning it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFG5CSMwHxI
.
I feel for you but when did you believe you were alone?
You say that spiders crawled inside and made themselves a home
Where alliance once was
.
Petrified of who you are and who you have become
You will hide from everyone, denying you need someone
To exterminate your bones
.
Friend, please remove your hands from
Over your eyes for me
I know you want to leave but
Friend, please don't take your life away from me
.
Living like a ghost you walk by everyone you know
You say that you're fine but you have lost your sway and glow
So I stopped by to let you know
.
Friend, please remove your hands from
Over your eyes for me
I know you want to leave but
Friend, please don't take your life away from me
.
Would you let me know your plans tonight
'Cause I just won't let go 'til we both see the light
And I have nothing else left to say
But I will listen to you all day, yes I will
.
Friend, please remove your hands from
Over your eyes for me
I know you want to leave but
Friend, please don't take your life away from me

HELP QIROEN NOW
YOU NEED TO HELP HER
WE CAN'T LOSE HER

I look like a little boy fetus in my id picture

I look like a little boy fetus in my id picture

If I ever hurt you. Just know that it was either because you were gating on my nerves or you continuously say bad things about yourself or that you never want to be happy. I know that you guys think no one cares but you are just saying that because either you want attention or you are just hurting so bad. DO you know what I go through? No, because other peoples happiness comes first. I try to keep you guys happy, I try to not show what im feeling because I don't want to make anyone sadder than they already are. So everyone, Keep your heads high and your self esteem higher! You guys are beautiful in your own way, we are all only human, but we are all beautiful. Don't let anyone take that away from you!

If I ever hurt you. Just know that it was either because you were gating on my nerves or you continuously say bad things about yourself or that you never want to be happy. I know that you guys think no one cares but you are just saying that because either you want attention or you are just hurting so bad. DO you know what I go through? No, because other peoples happiness comes first. I try to keep you guys happy, I try to not show what im feeling because I don't want to make anyone sadder than they already are. So everyone, Keep your heads high and your self esteem higher! You guys are beautiful in your own way, we are all only human, but we are all beautiful. Don't let anyone take that away from you!

If I ever hurt you. Just know that it was either because you were gating on my nerves or you continuously say bad things about yourself or that you never want to be happy. I know that you guys think no one cares but you are just saying that because either you want attention or you are just hurting so bad. DO you know what I go through? No, because other peoples happiness comes first. I try to keep you guys happy, I try to not show what im feeling because I don't want to make anyone sadder than they already are. So everyone, Keep your heads high and your self esteem higher! You guys are beautiful in your own way, we are all only human, but we are all beautiful. Don't let anyone take that away from you!

If I ever hurt you. Just know that it was either because you were gating on my nerves or you continuously say bad things about yourself or that you never want to be happy. I know that you guys think no one cares but you are just saying that because either you want attention or you are just hurting so bad. DO you know what I go through? No, because other peoples happiness comes first. I try to keep you guys happy, I try to not show what im feeling because I don't want to make anyone sadder than they already are. So everyone, Keep your heads high and your self esteem higher! You guys are beautiful in your own way, we are all only human, but we are all beautiful. Don't let anyone take that away from you!

If I ever hurt you. Just know that it was either because you were gating on my nerves or you continuously say bad things about yourself or that you never want to be happy. I know that you guys think no one cares but you are just saying that because either you want attention or you are just hurting so bad. DO you know what I go through? No, because other peoples happiness comes first. I try to keep you guys happy, I try to not show what im feeling because I don't want to make anyone sadder than they already are. So everyone, Keep your heads high and your self esteem higher! You guys are beautiful in your own way, we are all only human, but we are all beautiful. Don't let anyone take that away from you!

If I ever hurt you. Just know that it was either because you were gating on my nerves or you continuously say bad things about yourself or that you never want to be happy. I know that you guys think no one cares but you are just saying that because either you want attention or you are just hurting so bad. DO you know what I go through? No, because other peoples happiness comes first. I try to keep you guys happy, I try to not show what im feeling because I don't want to make anyone sadder than they already are. So everyone, Keep your heads high and your self esteem higher! You guys are beautiful in your own way, we are all only human, but we are all beautiful. Don't let anyone take that away from you!