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FRENZY!!!

shoelace

MediBang ID: -
howdy i’m back (kinda here and there)
-
+17
+Not that great at art but I like to do it
+1/19/19
+@helly.jellie on tiktok if ur wondering
+i play minecraft cause i’m a real gamer
+always here to talk if you need anything (not really anymore, im hardly ever on here)
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CREATOR RANK CREATOR Azraq 6 years ago
Hey guys.

So uhh, I might be taking a small break from drawing, which I've been doing frequently (though I haven't published any of them hhh). I've been going through a lot, having my own problems and seeing everyone else's lately. I also have to keep these problems and feelings bottled up since if I tell my family or anyone else, people will probably think I'm faking it all and just doing it for attention, plus I have nobody to talk to about it. And every time I try doing vent art or something, I think it looks horrible and I beat myself up over it. So, yeah, I'll stop rambling on about my personal problems...

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shoelace left a comment!

CREATOR RANK CREATOR shoelace 6 years ago

shoelace left a comment!

CREATOR RANK CREATOR shoelace 6 years ago

shoelace left a comment!

CREATOR RANK CREATOR shoelace 6 years ago
CREATOR RANK CREATOR shoelace 6 years ago
Where’s Kayla? (bebe)

So, idk if you guys have noticed her being gone for almost 3(?) weeks, but I have. I just wanted to let you guys know that she is okay. She messaged me on xbox and told me why she’s gone (private info I can’t give out), and she just wanted me to tell you guys that she misses you all, and that she hopes to be back soon (a few months maybe). If you have any questions or comments for her, you can ask me here and I’ll deliver them to her. Anyways, just a FYI for you guys

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  • 👌🏼

  • Glad to hear that she is okay

CREATOR RANK CREATOR shoelace 6 years ago
i’m just gonna talk

it’s 1 AM right now, and my mind is racing
It’s been 4 times now. 4 TIMES! I have tried to move on, constantly, but I can’t. 1 year. I needed him. I have him. There was... a rough patch a few weeks ago. He left. I cried. She was a snake. He came back. He realized his mistakes. I gave in. I love him. I’m insecure. That affects him. Me. Us. When I talk shit about myself, he tries to help, I ignore it. I go off and get mad. He gets upset and sad. I get sad. Then I feel bad. He goes away. He becomes depressed. My fault. He takes his pills. My fault. He grabs his gun. My fault. He comes to school alive. He is suicidal. I’m scared. I love him. He won’t leave, will he? Not again? Not for a second time? I know I did it before, but.. I was confused. That’s not an excuse though. The feelings were there in the back of my mind the entire time. 1 year. I’ve loved him for 1 year. That’s insane to me, and yet we have only been together for not even 2 weeks. If you add all of the other times up though, thats almost 4 months. Not enough. I’m not enough for him. He always talks about other girls and their bodies. I mean, not a girl specifically, just girls in general and how “Thick” they are. I am far from that. I look like a boy. I’m the reason his sexuality is questioned. I’m the reason he is sad. I’m the reason of his pain and suffering. I do absolutely no good. I am a mistake. I should’ve just killed myself the first time. Why didn’t I dig harder? Deeper? Hide somewhere else? Run out into the middle of the road then? Pretend I was going to go get some peaches or something. Let a car hit me. DIE. i should not be alive i should not be alive i should not be alive i should not be alive i should not be alive
I can’t leave him though. I will stay alive for him. Only him. Once he’s gone, I will not live. I will die. Not because of him. Because of my thoughts. My mistakes. My pitiful efforts. I am broken. A mirror that’s been shattered. There is no fixing after everything I’ve been through. What value is there in my life? Not a single penny. I AM NOT WORTH SHIT AND YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE
Fuck off
Fuck off
Fuck off
Fuck off
Fuck off
Tell them to FUCK OFF
They are so loud
I can’t think
Why can’t they just go away for a second? Let me have silence for a moment. Peace. Please. My head hurts. I’m tired, but not at the same time. I do not want to sleep, for fear they will be there. The shadows, I keep hidden with dreams that are lies. I do not dream. I suffer. If you could cut my skull ipen, you would see a brain if course, but if you could actually see what’s there, it would be filled with insecurities, horrible thoughts, intense imaginations, demons, all of that edgy shit.
I
Do
Not
Matter

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CREATOR RANK CREATOR shoelace 6 years ago
studies

Just some quick study doodles of Lennoxis. I’m still not really sure on the size of them, but I do know that the size of their head is as big as the average adult (5’10 ish) so they’re big scary creatures. They’re gender neutral as well, so they don’t go by she/him. You can call them:
-Lennox(is)
-Lenny(ies)
-Creatures
-Monsters
-It/Them/They
—
Uh some other info I guess (this is just for if I’m gonna make them adopts or not)
-They don’t reproduce sexually (so they are asexual)
-I guess you can classify them as amphibians since they don’t have fur/milk, but they give birth to live young and not eggs (reverse platypus)
-The little question mark thingy on their head is for echolocation since they don’t have eyes or a nose. I’m thinking about them being able to talk, but if they did I would only select a certain few. (voice cannon would be Venom’s btw)
-They are AGGRESSIVE and will kill anything in their sights. This is why they produce asexually, because a Lennox can’t be within miles of another without becoming aggrivated.
-Favorite food is humans or pigs.
-Can’t swim at all, and will be affected by any type of water (rain included)
—
That’s about all of the info haha

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  • Ooooooo, Nice

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