Vent (Trigger Warning)
Trigger Warning: Mentions of suicide, Mental Health, death, Self Harm
There is a thing you may not know about me. Some people think I'm some stupid idiot or just a cheerful artist and user on the internet just trying to share my art and my random stuff. But some people don't really know what I do outside from doing that stuff.
I am deeply sorry if I offend anyone reading this or making anyone uncomfortable. I sometimes have bad grammar whenever I write stuff after I don't check on the spelling.
Months ago (2020), I would imagine and plan myself trying to erase myself from the earth and from existence when I die. I sometimes want to break the huge bathroom with the handable mirror that can light up into shatters of sharp glass peices. I want the shatters to cut my skin and my face until I hit the ground and cut my head until I pass out and bleed to death. Without anyone knowing this was my plan all along. Was to do this so I wouldn't live on this place anymore, due to all of the fuck ups I did and how I made people upset, which I didn't know what I did, but I thought that whatever I did was awful and I hurt them. I wanted to cut myself on the shattered glass pieces to off myself from the plant after I thought that they didn't want me existing anymore. My folks noticed the cut marks on my arms (after I cut myself with a knife) and I lied to them that I was trying to shave with the razor. They didn't know I was attempting something.
The second thing I never told anyone about was that I was having mental health issues which were often overlooked by my other friends and people. I sometimes have anxiety and paranoia. I am scared and afraid of a lot of things in real life. Like what if get lost and my comfort person stopped caring about me. My mental health started bad and became much worse. I never had anyone I have known in real life I can talk to, nor even cared to talk or ask. They all brushed it off and said it was just part of my high functioning Autism.
I am still have mental health issues and still getting help for it to this day.
There is a thing you may not know about me. Some people think I'm some stupid idiot or just a cheerful artist and user on the internet just trying to share my art and my random stuff. But some people don't really know what I do outside from doing that stuff.
I am deeply sorry if I offend anyone reading this or making anyone uncomfortable. I sometimes have bad grammar whenever I write stuff after I don't check on the spelling.
Months ago (2020), I would imagine and plan myself trying to erase myself from the earth and from existence when I die. I sometimes want to break the huge bathroom with the handable mirror that can light up into shatters of sharp glass peices. I want the shatters to cut my skin and my face until I hit the ground and cut my head until I pass out and bleed to death. Without anyone knowing this was my plan all along. Was to do this so I wouldn't live on this place anymore, due to all of the fuck ups I did and how I made people upset, which I didn't know what I did, but I thought that whatever I did was awful and I hurt them. I wanted to cut myself on the shattered glass pieces to off myself from the plant after I thought that they didn't want me existing anymore. My folks noticed the cut marks on my arms (after I cut myself with a knife) and I lied to them that I was trying to shave with the razor. They didn't know I was attempting something.
The second thing I never told anyone about was that I was having mental health issues which were often overlooked by my other friends and people. I sometimes have anxiety and paranoia. I am scared and afraid of a lot of things in real life. Like what if get lost and my comfort person stopped caring about me. My mental health started bad and became much worse. I never had anyone I have known in real life I can talk to, nor even cared to talk or ask. They all brushed it off and said it was just part of my high functioning Autism.
I am still have mental health issues and still getting help for it to this day.
