Dont read if you dont give a shit
I never thought I'd say this......
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Yknow how my parents REALLY want me to be a doctor? and i hated the idea?
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Well.......I was thinking about it and......I actually wouldn't mind. I'd like to be a cardiothoracic surgeon or anything really tbh. I kind of feel like I'm failing, so if i get a job after university maybe i wont feel like shit about myself. I'm going to university soon (possibly a good one if i get good results in my CSAT exams in November) so i was just thinking.....what should i do? I see my mother's friends bragging about their daughters, but she hasnt said much, i feel like im dissapointing her, so if i get a job i would feel better about myself and she can finally say something. But I've also been dancing since I was like 6, i could take that to the next level and possibly get into an entertainment company in korea. I've been doing loads of styles, hip-hop, jazz, contemporary, freestyle etc. all with my friends, they've done it with me. Theres alot of things I've been doing that I could take further, but I feel dissapointed in myself, i want to be able to tell myself "your here, look how far you've come" that would feel amazing.
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I made a list:
○Cardiothoracic surgeon
○Dance
what do i do? I'm thinking more about cardiothoracic than dance but I'm still tied between the two.
I want to show my sister that im not like her, i dont go out with boys and people who get me into trouble, i do my homework, i study my ass off 8 hours a day and even more on weekends. Im determined to get good score in CSAT unlike she was at my age. I understand cardiothoracic is very hard, and involves really hard studying and commitment, and maybe working in a hospital will make me realize that hospital isn't that bad XD (ive been in there alot with injuries or health issues, mainly athsma attacks, that time I got my appendix removed, when i broke my leg, when i got stitches in my left ear and when i severely broke my left shoulder, it was pretty bashed) And i dont actually mind looking at a person's lungs or heart. yes I'm aware it's bloody and gory, i know what chest organs look like, so im not gonna be like "oh its not that bad!" And then I actually do a surgery and be like "AHHHHHH!!!! WTF WTF WTF!!!!".
I'm aware of all the effort that has to be put into cardiothoracic, and i dont mind studying hours and hours as long as I have a reason I'm doing it for. On the non gory side, i actually like the idea of night shifts (mainly because of i love the idea of being in a huge building at night, or getting lost in big buildings at night, i love that shit lol)
And I'm aware that I'm going to be experiencing death right in front of my eyes, patients can die mid surgery or it wasn't a success if their injury or problem is very very very bad.
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That goes for everybody, if your reading this, and your deciding what you want to do in life and one thing is sticking with you that you won't change ur mind about, I'd say go for it, give it your best, trying is better than not making commitment at all. hwaiting! 👊
-
-
Yknow how my parents REALLY want me to be a doctor? and i hated the idea?
--------
Well.......I was thinking about it and......I actually wouldn't mind. I'd like to be a cardiothoracic surgeon or anything really tbh. I kind of feel like I'm failing, so if i get a job after university maybe i wont feel like shit about myself. I'm going to university soon (possibly a good one if i get good results in my CSAT exams in November) so i was just thinking.....what should i do? I see my mother's friends bragging about their daughters, but she hasnt said much, i feel like im dissapointing her, so if i get a job i would feel better about myself and she can finally say something. But I've also been dancing since I was like 6, i could take that to the next level and possibly get into an entertainment company in korea. I've been doing loads of styles, hip-hop, jazz, contemporary, freestyle etc. all with my friends, they've done it with me. Theres alot of things I've been doing that I could take further, but I feel dissapointed in myself, i want to be able to tell myself "your here, look how far you've come" that would feel amazing.
-
I made a list:
○Cardiothoracic surgeon
○Dance
what do i do? I'm thinking more about cardiothoracic than dance but I'm still tied between the two.
I want to show my sister that im not like her, i dont go out with boys and people who get me into trouble, i do my homework, i study my ass off 8 hours a day and even more on weekends. Im determined to get good score in CSAT unlike she was at my age. I understand cardiothoracic is very hard, and involves really hard studying and commitment, and maybe working in a hospital will make me realize that hospital isn't that bad XD (ive been in there alot with injuries or health issues, mainly athsma attacks, that time I got my appendix removed, when i broke my leg, when i got stitches in my left ear and when i severely broke my left shoulder, it was pretty bashed) And i dont actually mind looking at a person's lungs or heart. yes I'm aware it's bloody and gory, i know what chest organs look like, so im not gonna be like "oh its not that bad!" And then I actually do a surgery and be like "AHHHHHH!!!! WTF WTF WTF!!!!".
I'm aware of all the effort that has to be put into cardiothoracic, and i dont mind studying hours and hours as long as I have a reason I'm doing it for. On the non gory side, i actually like the idea of night shifts (mainly because of i love the idea of being in a huge building at night, or getting lost in big buildings at night, i love that shit lol)
And I'm aware that I'm going to be experiencing death right in front of my eyes, patients can die mid surgery or it wasn't a success if their injury or problem is very very very bad.
-
That goes for everybody, if your reading this, and your deciding what you want to do in life and one thing is sticking with you that you won't change ur mind about, I'd say go for it, give it your best, trying is better than not making commitment at all. hwaiting! 👊
