I just don’t understand why I always ruin friendships. I don’t understand why so many people hate me. I don’t understand why I have to be so stupid and ugly and horrible. I don’t understand why I’m so sad because I brought this on myself and I deserve it but then again, I feel like its not all my fault. I wish there was a word to describe my feelings. I wish I lived in a house were I could just break down and cry and not have to worry about someone walking in and getting all up in my business. I wish I had someone to cry with because I just feel so alone.

I’m sick. I feel like nobody loves me anymore. Nobody really cares if I’m in their life or not. I just feel burdened down with sadness. I feel like I’m just gonna throw up. I feel like I need to cry but I cant because I’ve done that so often lately.
And I’m sorry. Someone told me never to feel ashamed for telling people this, but I feel like I’m just an annoyance. Maybe its because when I told my friends about all my problems they got annoyed and left me. And maybe thats why I keep apologizing and covering up. I know alot of people on here feel the same way, and that is why I am opening up. Im tired of being the only one.