I know im just spamming myspace with crap, and rants, maybe like one good thing....
But why did i actually leave
Truth is im not well........
Ive been hiding it saying "oh doctor said im fine" "i might look sick but im not im okay!" And shit like that. Im a 6'0 female who weighs 45kg! Im obviously not a healthy weight. I hide alot of shit, from my parents and my friends. I act like im ok, but im not. Beauty standards make me sick, over here your only pretty if your skinny, but if your too skinny, your also up there with the heavier people. I didnt eat to become perfect, i wanted to feel good. My breaks are because of school, and my focus on recovery. My bmi (i know, not the best way to discover if im ok) was 13.6, somebody my height should be 140lbs to 183lbs! My knees would point through my legs, you could see my ribs and hibones, my face was so slim and my spine, dont get me started. This is such a private matter to me, not something i thought id ever share, ever. But ive built up courage to say it, you all deserve the truth..
I have recovered, im still a bit boney but now i can say i weigh 139lbs, normal. I wont ever go down that road again, ever.
I better stop before i drown myself in tears...