It is what it is
life is crazy
I was going to post the reason why i was absent but id rather say everything to one person instead of the whole website. I'm not one for venting and i try to avoid doing it because i know it can annoy a hella load of people on here and it gets to me too sometimes on here when somebody spams myspace with their problems 24/7 and say things that shouldnt be thrown around on the internet like personal matters. One or two things is totally fine and i completely understand the need to say something to get the weight of keeping it in off your shoulders, and even sometimes i find when you tell someone the problem can become lighter. But if you post about personal issues nonstop it can become kind of sickening, plus it puts people in bad moods then everyone gets into fights, ive been on here a few years now and in my time ive witnessed a shit ton of fights. Heck, i was in half of them XD Saying all this brings all of them back and i smile a bit thinking back even tho at the time we were all pulling eachothers hair out over it. We all wanted to kill eachother at the time but when i think back it brings memories. Apart from fights, around that time medi was the best. So many amazing people have left and its not the same. I wish we could all go back in time
Ill stop ranting. Why i went off is because ive been diagnosed with ocd by a phsycologist, which explains alot since i get intrusive thoughts i dont even want and i engage in these rituals, i do them because i feel if i dont, someone will die cuz of me, and stuff like that. Its nothing im not used to, im used to finding out i have mental dissorders. Ive been living with depression baisicly half of my life. Its gone but it can creep up sometimes y'know? The intrusive thought arent fun tho, i dont even want to do what i think in my mind or see someone do what i seen them do in my head, but they appear out of nowhere and i hate them. Its kinda hard to say all this, and im not comfortable telling the world the full story. I hid having other things from everybody and as a result it snowballed and made things worse since i kept it in. I dont know how my family will react, we'll see ●_●
I was going to post the reason why i was absent but id rather say everything to one person instead of the whole website. I'm not one for venting and i try to avoid doing it because i know it can annoy a hella load of people on here and it gets to me too sometimes on here when somebody spams myspace with their problems 24/7 and say things that shouldnt be thrown around on the internet like personal matters. One or two things is totally fine and i completely understand the need to say something to get the weight of keeping it in off your shoulders, and even sometimes i find when you tell someone the problem can become lighter. But if you post about personal issues nonstop it can become kind of sickening, plus it puts people in bad moods then everyone gets into fights, ive been on here a few years now and in my time ive witnessed a shit ton of fights. Heck, i was in half of them XD Saying all this brings all of them back and i smile a bit thinking back even tho at the time we were all pulling eachothers hair out over it. We all wanted to kill eachother at the time but when i think back it brings memories. Apart from fights, around that time medi was the best. So many amazing people have left and its not the same. I wish we could all go back in time
Ill stop ranting. Why i went off is because ive been diagnosed with ocd by a phsycologist, which explains alot since i get intrusive thoughts i dont even want and i engage in these rituals, i do them because i feel if i dont, someone will die cuz of me, and stuff like that. Its nothing im not used to, im used to finding out i have mental dissorders. Ive been living with depression baisicly half of my life. Its gone but it can creep up sometimes y'know? The intrusive thought arent fun tho, i dont even want to do what i think in my mind or see someone do what i seen them do in my head, but they appear out of nowhere and i hate them. Its kinda hard to say all this, and im not comfortable telling the world the full story. I hid having other things from everybody and as a result it snowballed and made things worse since i kept it in. I dont know how my family will react, we'll see ●_●
