/ventish

so i have really bad social anxiety, but my dad doesnt believe that anxiety is an actual thing. like he's one of the people that is like, "its all in your head. its your fault that you had a panic attack."
so we had an assembly today about mental health(like depression and anxiety) and i was telling my dad about it- dumb idea cause he scoffs and says, "oh about overstimulation and all that bullshit??"
it took everything in my power to not turn around and fucking snap at him
ive literally had a mental breakdown at school before and he refused to pick me up. he ignored my calls and shit too.
and he always is like, "i dont understand why you always are mad at me."
hmmmm
i d o n t k n o w ? maybe because you make me feel like an actual piece of shit everysingle day??
i almost killed myself last night, and i kinda want to know how fucking bad he would feel bc he didnt believe me.