wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadsafsadsfffffffffffffffffffffffwait does spamming even hide stuff even now i m not so sure
like before, exactly four lines would hide it


i need food like honestly im not in a mentally neat spot
its not great i think on average but i went from 'wow hungry' to. i dont know whatever this is
also sorry i dont know why imm putting this here
you know the drill to be honest
like i could. gosh i dont know like theres other places but
hmmmmmm it's like. maybe a combination of knowing here, people I trust could see it and knowing they wont???
yeah that's not great is it cause it messes stuff up more, i really should stop doing that
I also dont really want to elsewhere cause it's so. empty? like if someone. tries to encourage me in certain ways that's not so good right now cause it doesn't really get to the heart of it. or something?
I do the same thing though I think, it's hard when it's just text when you're just text
you cant like be comforting in the same way and it's difficult so.I do get it. you can wish somebody well but that doesn't mean they'll feel it so much cause it's just like text.
and i just don't understand what i am so when someone tries it's definitely complicated
i shouldn't take that as meaning that all my worries are like ultimate though that's not very healthy actually
its maybe validating in a way but it's also not because it's just in your head at that point
I don't know sorry that's like. not very explainational.
i miss you by the way like still.
i get it though thats how it is really it's mainly just
like not inherently a bad thing or a moral thing at all it's just like a personal thing with me not figuring stuff out or also just not having things at the moment.
I miss Them and I even miss the people who were ultimately just kind of the ones who caused me to feel bad. in real life i mean
i also miss people who are here with me at home because i don't think i can stay, and also sometimes because they've changed so much. or because ive learned more about them that ruins what they were to me, sometimes.
i've got like one million things i wish i could say or change just because i didn't get it before
but like one of my friends (or something? i don't know what) is in the army now and writing a letter at 3 am isnt feasible --------------------------------
like man how was i a person before
there was just a guy there loooking like
if you saw the seperate pieces of me in a funhouse mirror- actually i guess im the funhouse mirror guy>??
i mean. i never made sense so much but i did make more sense
was i less in my head and that's why i could do that? or more and that's why i wasnt so concerned.
bleh
Sorry theres no food yet i dont think
there i put some spam so people dont get concerned
like if one guy who doesnt klnow me so well sees it they dont have to read it, id feel bad if they did
there was that one person who always leaves the little um
reaction drawing things, i should thank them they're cool
i know they have a username that id remember if i saw but i dont associate it with the little drawings as good
im not sure why they've been around forever?
but yea i wouldn't want most people being bogged down by. whatever this means?
or, i wouldnt want anybody to be but certainly not for a stranger
me <--- the stranger in that cesn
sentence
im keeping the mistype to be honest. OH I SHOULD get someone to send stuff on the way to the other person
i dont think they care so much anymore but it's ok i think they'd like it anyway
oh im sequg
segue-ing ill stop