Not even sure if this is a vent.




It's so empty. Like usual.
I had my burst of excitement hours ago, but i can't feel anything, as usual.
pain, however?
i can feel that.

im just hurting myself for fun at this point.
so i can feel something, for a pass-time.
I can definitely feel pain though, and thats something. anything is good

figuring out razor blades really made the job easier. i used to be using a set of dull fabric scissors
razors though? they do it faster and better

watching the red marks slowly form on my skin, feeling the prickles of pain coming in.. its amazing.
the blood slowly rip itself through the tears in my arm, steadily dripping and running down my skin.
it mixing with the shower water and run down in odd squiggles,
becoming more blood than water

its amazing
fascinating
mesmerizing
addicting

it makes me feel something

the only issue is when i run out of skin to tear.
but hey, I'll cross that bridge when i get there