First Chapter (Ch. 2)
In kindergarten, I think, we called our teacher Mrs. Mommy Hands. Why we called her that is because her palms are small and can carry you with such care and love. She's like a mom to the other children, knowing what's best for them. She'll read all kinds of stories, like sweet stories that admires me.

mommy hands teacher

In my dream, I was in a terrible pain full of doubts and pressures. Since my favorite one died in my family, I even mourn for her every single day in my life. I even wish she was here, hugging me when I found her alive and well. Even people told me it was old, and I said to them, "I don't care, and I'm not letting go of my grief."

Couple of days, people would say that I have no talent at all. Some would say "go kill yourself." I really suggested that it was sort of a joke, but when I was distraught, I thought to myself that suicide is the only answer. No hotline to help me. No one who care about me at all. I had to deal with myself.

disbelief and disgrace

Stress takes most of my days and weeks. When I was dreaming, I saw my own lifeless body full of doubts. I can't move or speak, and my parents were scared to death about seeing me. I tried to say I'm okay but they won't see me.

Not when they discovered what is my plan; committing suicide, by cutting myself. My mom takes me outside to see Dad, and I was smiling, but failed. I forgot that I had to hide it from my parents.

"What are you doing this to yourself?!" My mom yelled at me, and I was smiling without any emotions or feelings.

"It's because of stress."

give them a reason