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more of me complaining >=(
honestly at this point you dont even need to feel like you have to make me feel better, i know this is annoying that i'm constantly venting- just ignore this if you want to





i went to the dance competition today
i did well?.... ugh people said i looked amazing but i disagree ;w; how would they even THINK that? i watched a video of me dancing and i literally look the worst out of all the other girls. i was starting to feel confident when people said i looked good but all that confidence crashed down to dust when i watched the video my mum recorded of me. I AM SO EMBARRASSED THAT I LOOKED LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF SO MANY PEOPLE ;W; and i not only do i dance horribly, but why. does my body. have to be SO. WEIRD LOOKING? i'm so wide, and broad, and big, I JUST CANT. why can't i be small? like all of the other girls i see? honestly i'd rather be skinny and weak than how i am now. sure i'm kinda strong (i guess... ugh not really) and sorta tall (maybe average honestly =/ ), but why do i have to be SO BIG.... i dont look good in any hairstyles either, and the only time where i feel confident is where i'm wearing kinda baggy clothing HA, because it's hiding most of me.
i shouldnt have watched that video because EVERY TIME I LOOK AT A PHOTO OR VIDEO OF ME IT RUINS MY WHOLE MOOD AND MAKES ME WANT TO CRY SOMETIMES ;w; and it's been like that for a few years.

i wish i was like Muna... (my older sister)
SIGGHHHHH

you dont have to feel the need to make me feel better and comment and stuff, i know i keep complaining about my whole stupid identity-