MediBang timeline becoming depressing again
Thought I'd pour out my feelings and problems into one thing since it'll just become another depressing post.
You can skip if you want.

I hate myself. I don't know why I'm the way I am. I'm just a loud ball of energy with no emotional stability that everyone finds annoying. I have friends that can't put up with me sometimes and I lost a friend because of the way I am. I cry like every week, I'm hella loud, I'm becoming dumber day by day, and I'm just ugly. I can't suck it up and just move on from it. I have to be like this and be "happy" about it by acting like a clown. These are only some bad traits about me. I'm not likeable, I'm not a good friend, I'm jealous of everyone, the list goes on. Why can't I be a normal person who's smart and likeable? Why can't I be that good friend everyone needs? Why am I like this? Just why?

My friends. One's annoyed with me all the time. One has a friend that will dislocate my fingers if I talk to the friend in front of them. One is mad at me because I'm too aggressive. And one's moving away. I just wish they could put up with me AND be there with me. It's not fair. It's not just my friends. Everyone doesn't like me. I got somewhat bullied at school, the troublemaker girl has beef w me, and I'm pretty sure all the boys don't like me.

I wanna just go back to being born and have a fresh start at life. Dodge all the mistakes I made but still learn from them. And not have to put up with any of this.