the timeline rn is making me rlly uncomfortable =( please stop guys lol
anyways XD *sadness ahead i'm afraid*




i... really need to work on my daily mindset, i'm super negative about everything such as thinking "ughhh i dont want to do this", "i'm so terrible at this and that", "i'm so dumb and clueless", ect ect and plus some self harm (which i feel i'm getting more harmful every time ;w;)
i also feel like i have some percentage of relationship anxiety (basically having bad thoughts being friends with someone like "do they actually like me", "did i say the wrong thing", "do they not like me anymore" ect. it also applies online i realised). and i also ALSO feel like someone will be friends with me, they'll really like me, they'll want to talk to me ect, and it always seems like it ends up them getting bored of me, changing their mind about me, and suddenly think i'm kinda rude and don't like them-
but yeah, whenever someone says they think i'm really cool and they want to talk to me and stuff, i get pretty scared because i'm always expecting that to end quite quickly.
and irl i love it when someone's super chatty and excited with me, but i barely say anything and think "is it okay i'm not saying much?", "how do i let them know i really like them and want to talk to them", ect.

idk, even my sister Muna said i should really work on my mindset. and i should, i'm just extremely negative lol
but it'll be hard to change because i think negatively to let my irritation out, and that seems to be an addiction for me
dunno