Love yourself says bts, I don’t and I won’t. I have no reason to love myself. When your worst enemy is yourself why should I love myself. I need more of God and less of me. I’m not talented at art as you can see but I’m worried though about what I can draw and what I should not. Because I say I could draw some bad things if I wanted. I’m questioning every thing I’m wasting my time on and why am I not doing what I wish I wanted to do more then anything there is to do in this world. I don’t buy the lies mainstream news is shoving down our throats. The people who took the vaccine are in a pickle, and I don’t wish harm on them but it’s clear to me that some of the vaccinated wish harm on people like myself. The world is going down the drain and obedience to the “rules” “laws” is just going to make things worse. Anyone in New York needs to get out of there unless they want what is being pushed. When I was big into kpop my favorite band was big bang and I feel sorry for what Jiyong had to go through and really all of them and my favorite member was TOP. I was saddened when he was in a coma and a woman he dated spoke ill of him. I see kpop as a waste of time now still sometimes listen to it not that I think I should. I hate the song Gd did with CL called dirty vibe. As weird as it might sound I hope Jiyong hates the fact that he agreed to do it. Maybe it’s not true that he believes in Jesus Christ, if that’s the case he can do what he likes and I don’t care. You see I used to be more obsessed with big bang then I with God. I want to be obsessed with God, I want to eat, sleep, and breathe thinking about God. I still fall so short and I wonder am I born again. I don’t care about the phrase, don’t work to hard. When I don’t even work enough. I tried my best to work hard for my last job, but I don’t know how long I will be allowed to still have a part of society. I am willing to give it up. I am willing to never again enter a store. If I’m not allowed as I am. Jesus took me as I am and it took years and years for me to really want to change but part of me is still in the flesh and I hate that part and I wonder if God will help me change that part. And I like cute non sexual characters with the cat or bunny ears but I wonder if that is a insult to how God created us and maybe can’t be disconnected from the wicked form of it. I hope God will be the comfort to all the confused and broken hearted. I sent what I believe is important information to someone but it was deleted. I wish people who don’t know what I know could believe in what I know. People can tell me I am wrong till they are blue in the face. I won’t back down, the queen of hearts is roaming and she can have it, she can have it all.