im so scared of the way i love . what *i* think romantic gestures r . the way i think abt keeping ur long gone body . i want to kiss ur cold blue lips more than i want to kiss ur warm surgery lips . i want to hold ur head under water and watch the last bubbles float to the surface of the water . i want to watch u struggle while i choke u out . i want to see ur eyes roll to the back of ur head . i think i rlly have it in me to hurt u . im scared of that .