I just want it all to be over.
There's too much for me to handle. The headaches I get every day are making my mom upset, and she wants to take me to the doctor. I don't want to go back there. I'm sick of living under a medical microscope. I'm sick of having to go to urgent care every time I catch the common cold. I'm tired of all the pills and the blood draws and the IVs and the visits.
I'm sick of the headaches and the yellow eyes and the pain and the exhaustion. I'm sick of not being able to do stuff like jump into a pool or play in the snow without having to worry about not being hospitalized. I'm sick of being sick.
.
I HATE feeling so alone. I always start to talk about it, but it feels so petty... I just have nobody to talk to... I have friends, but there's only so much we can talk about. Nobody likes the same things as me, and if they do, it's just a casual interest at best... Nobody is into Gorillaz or Doctor Who like I am, and it's lonely. I want someone to share my ideas with. I want someone who understands what I'm saying... It's gotten to the point where I'm just taking out loud to myself... I just want someone who feels as passionate as I do.
But nobody cares.
...
I just feel alone... And tired. I'm always tired. Physically and emotionally. Just exhausted... I try drawing to escape my life, but every time I return to reality everything gets worse.
I'm in over my head and I just want it to stop.
I want everything to stop.