vent ahead








i'm so fat.
i still eat even though i know i'm fat.
i feel like my clothes have been getting tighter.
why does it have to be so hard?
ever since i've started that break from exercising every day, i've been getting so fat.
maybe i just need to exercise every single day and not eat as much.
why is my stomach so big? my thighs, my arms...
i did this experiment by not eating any carbs or something to see if my belly will go flat but it didnt.
i hate my short tiny shirts, they expose my body shape.
i hate my wide hips and shoulders.
i hate my face.
i hate my lack of bravery.
i hate my lack of confidence.
i hate how i still eat even though i know i want to be thinner.
i hate super attractive models.
i hate my short torso.
i hate my legs.
why do i have to be so fat? and when i stop exercising, i get extremely more fat.
everyone else is either skinny, or so much fitter than me.
i can literally see the fat when i bunch my skin together.
my thighs are so big. my belly is so big.
my brain is so dumb.
everyone thinks i'm dumb.
everyone thinks i'm mean.
the slightest thing i do, i'm considered rude, weird, and dumb.
i feel like my parents think i'm fat, too.
unless that's just my dumb brain reacting to every slight thing people do and thinking it of something it isnt.
i've been really tired from morning to night and i dont know why.
i dont do enough schoolwork, i'm so dumb.
i'm a failure.

i hate my body, my brain, my cowardness,
EVERYTHING.