good morning

morning posts are unusual

lil vent, just about my looks a g a i n cuz i have a sudden urge

rrrrr i've been tryyinngg but i still look faatttt =]]
maybe i'll look fat no matter what i try
i've eaten breakfast now but i feel like i regret it, i should've fasted again today
and like i would've thought i was fairly fit and capable of physical challenge, but i really don't look like it-- i look sooo soft and chubby but it feels like it just doesn't add up =[ i feel like if anyone else ate what i ate and did what i did they would look so athletic
when i first starting fasting and exercising during it, it didn't feel bad, but now it's starting to feel genuinely tiring and upsetting-- so i decided not to fast today but now i regret it =/ it won't help me lose the fat on my body
i just want to look thin and fit and lean, why is it so hard

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9个月前

🐾 !! ollie !! 🐾 9个月前

> Muna Is Sketching...
i knoowwww i just can't climb out of this hole of self hate for some reason-- i've started trying to find the solution for getting out of it tho, but idk =[ because i think i've found a major problem; i feel that i don't DESERVE self love and optimism for who i am, and that's stopping me a lot from being in a better mental state-- now i need to find out why that is
btw those handstand pushups with a spot were shallowwwww =]
i definitely don't feel pretty though-- and i also feel like everyone else that does the same sport as me are just... better at everything, nothing new
but i feel like i'd be happier if liked the way i looked more... and that i could actually watch a recording of myself without crying for 2 weeks after lol
but tysm <333

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🐾 !! ollie !! 🐾 9个月前

> TheEpicBean
thank you so much... like you said tho, it's really hard to get out of fully-- it's just cuz i literally CANNOT look at a video or picture of my body without then worrying and probably crying for a week or two just from watching one video once of me (been like that for years) =/ that's how this whole fasting while exercising thing started, i watched one video of me performing in my sport, then went like "i'm over this" and now i'm here

but anyways, you're absolutely right about how health comes first, thin doesn't automatically mean healthy, and overall health is more important than looks-- and i think i am eating healthily, that's why i don't understand my looks lol, but it's probably my stuuuuupid genetics like u g h
i've started a mental health journal just trying to analyze why i think the way i do, but otherwise idk how i'm gonna stop hating my body =[ tysm for your help and advice tho, it means a lot to me <33333

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Muna Sketches 9个月前

Seriously oly.. You've been over this.. You NEED food, and you ARE healthy! You were just out there doing handstand pushups with spot, you can do SO much more than the average with fitness. There is more than just looks, and you ARE pretty, I know you irl and you are pretty, but with everything you don't like, you'll grow into them. You won't be happy if you are perfect..

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TheEpicBean 9个月前

idk im sorry if this doesn't help. ive stuggled similarly before, so ik its hard to deal w/. i really hope stuff gets better for you man 👍

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TheEpicBean 9个月前

hey, idk if this'll help but you shouldn't focus so much on how your body looks. what matters is that your staying healthy and making sure your body gets what it needs. everyone is different and we all process things like food or physical activity differently, whether that be because of other health problems, stress, genetics, ect. ofc its good to put effort and try to look how you want or whatever, but health comes first. Food is needed to help fuel everything you think and do. if your tryna exercise, you need food so you don't feel tired and exhausted by the end of it. ik it probably feels horrible to eat, like your ruining your body or something, but when you eat good stuff that'll help give your body nutrients, its ultimately better in the long run. Its good to get out of that mindset that thinner means healthier. just make sure your eating enough, and eating what is good for your body. keep active and over all just try to do whats best for you yk?

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