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venting again

is..is it bad that one of the things i care for the most in the world is a stuffed animal..?
like.. i care about lionel more than most people i meet. is that bad?
is it genuinely bad that a stuffed lion plush is something i care about on the same level as my chosen family..?
its just
hes been with me for.. 5 years? possibly longer. i got him on christmas of 2015(?), from a family friend.
just--
is is bad that i have so much emotional attachment to a stuffed animal?? that if i had to chose one thing of my possession to have forever, it would be him?
hes..
hes been with me through a lot.
he was with me when i had lice twice, when gionni died, when dad was gone for 2 and a half years, when i hung out with mell, when irl bro told me shit things, when amy died, when i was being bullied, when the family started breaking, when i was moving, when two attempted and one fake suicides were blamed on me, when i was with jay-.

..

when.. jay and-- she-- hit me..

when i wanted to kill myself.
when i cut.
when i had anxiety attacks.
when i tried to tell myself it was okay.

no.
hes with me every night.
for over 5 years.

im justified.
im justified in loving him as much as i do.

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