What am I supposed to do now...? Why-
Why am I so dumb? Please, anybody, help me-

I really had to speak to get noticed by someone huh? I'm so pitiful and pathetic, yet anybody doesn't do anything to get noticed, what kind of sorcery is this?

I hope she wakes up already–
She's the only person who really wants to talk and hang out with me, so...









Please wake up Shira

I have it, but... It also feels like I don't have it, hmm. Strange

If I was her, will you talk to me?
I wish I was her
so maybe you'd want to talk to me
I keep wasting my nights hoping you would tell me anything

I still have no idea if anyone really does want me alive.

I wish I was interesting...










...just like her, haha

Maybe it is better to enjoy the rest of my life, instead of being upset over a small thing. A lot of stuff matters a lot more than the things I mostly think about, if I could only feel that way-
I just don't feel like I'm still there, I bet if I hadn't talked in a few days, nothing would've really happened tbh,



And it's supposed to be like that
If I keep thinking about *that* then my own emotions and feelings would go out of control and control me instead of them being controlled by me.

If everything keeps going the same way, then everything will get worse until some point I'd wish that I wasn't here anymore

And that's what's happening now.

If only I could be more happier independently, if only I could see the real value of everything around me, maybe I'd be having a better life now

Why do I even want his attention though? It's just a big waste of time, nothing works. After I talk with him, the conversation stops and will never start again unless if I start it.
She's so lucky he talks to her, I- I wish I was her
She's way better than me, everybody loves her so much, she's better than me, she's better than me, and she's better than me
That's how I think right now, because you'd rather talk to her than to me. I bet you won't even see this, will you? I don't even think I'm of any value to you, I'm sure I don't mean anything to you, and if I'm gone you wouldn't even notice it!
I wonder how happy you could be without me... Probably happier than when I'm there.
If only I could feel the same about you, if only I could do the same with you, maybe I'd be happier, maybe it really is happier without me
And I'm starting to lose my mind because of it, if you hate me just say that you do! I'm so tired whenever you tell me that I'm important to you or anything but then will rather talk to someone else than me-
I hate these feelings. I hate, I hate.
I hate everything I think about
I can easily numb physical pain, but... Why does 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 linger?
It feels like it's carved in my heart, since you started to ignore me.
I wish I could ignore all of these and ignore you as much as you do to me but













꒐ ꉔꋬꋊ꓄
ꁝꄲꅐ ꒯ꄲ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꒯ꄲ ꓄ꁝꋬ꓄? ꒐'꒯ ꒒ꄲ꒦ꏂ ꓄ꄲ ꒒ꏂꋬꋪꋊ ꊰꋪꄲꂵ ꌦꄲ꒤. <3
ꃳ꒤꓄ ꌦꄲ꒤'꒒꒒ ꒻꒤ꇙ꓄ ꉣꋪꄲꃳꋬꃳ꒒ꌦ ꒐ꍌꋊꄲꋪꏂ ꂵꏂ ꋬꍌꋬ꒐ꋊ, ꒒꒐ꀘꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꋬ꒒ꅐꋬꌦꇙ ꒯ꄲ. <33
ꌦꄲ꒤ ꏂ꒦ꏂꋊ ꊰꄲꋪꍌꄲ꓄ ꒐꓄ ꅐꋬꇙ ꄲ꒤ꋪ ꋬꋊꋊ꒐꒦ꏂꋪꇙꋬꋪꌦ, ꄲꋪ ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꒻꒤ꇙ꓄ ꒯꒐꒯ꋊ'꓄ ꋪꏂꋬ꒒꒒ꌦ ꉔꋬꋪꏂ ꋬꃳꄲ꒤꓄ ꒐꓄ ꋬꇙ ꂵ꒤ꉔꁝ ꋬꇙ ꒐ ꒯ꄲ, ꄲꋪ ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꇙ꒐ꂵꉣ꒒ꌦ ꒯ꄲꋊ'꓄. <333
꒐ ꒯ꄲꋊ'꓄ ꒯ꏂꇙꏂꋪ꒦ꏂ ꓄ꄲ ꃳꋪꏂꋬ꓄ꁝꏂ, ꅐꁝꌦ? ꒐ ꓄ꁝꄲ꒤ꍌꁝ꓄ ꃳꋬ꒯ ꉣꏂꄲꉣ꒒ꏂ ꒒꒐ꀘꏂ ꂵꏂ ꋬꋪꏂ ꇙ꒤ꉣꉣꄲꇙꏂ꒯ ꓄ꄲ ꒯꒐ꏂ, ꌦꄲ꒤'꒒꒒ ꃳꏂ ꅐꋬꌦ ꅐꋬꌦ ꅐꋬꌦ ꁝꋬꉣꉣ꒐ꏂꋪ ꃳꌦ ꓄ꁝꏂꋊ.
ꌦꄲ꒤'꒯ ꃳꏂ ꁝꋬ꒦꒐ꋊꍌ ꋬ ꅐꄲꋊ꒯ꏂꋪꊰ꒤꒒ ꒒꒐ꊰꏂ, ꋬꋊ꒯ ꅐꁝꄲ ꀘꋊꄲꅐꇙ, ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤'꒒꒒ ꊰ꒐ꋊ꒯ ꇙꄲꂵꏂꄲꋊꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꋬꉔ꓄꒤ꋬ꒒꒒ꌦ ꉔꋬꋪꏂ ꋬꃳꄲ꒤꓄, ꄲꋪ ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꋬ꒒ꋪꏂꋬ꒯ꌦ ꒯꒐꒯.

Maybe it is better to enjoy the rest of my life, instead of being upset over a small thing. A lot of stuff matters a lot more than the things I mostly think about, if I could only feel that way-
I just don't feel like I'm still there, I bet if I hadn't talked in a few days, nothing would've really happened tbh,



And it's supposed to be like that
If I keep thinking about *that* then my own emotions and feelings would go out of control and control me instead of them being controlled by me.

If everything keeps going the same way, then everything will get worse until some point I'd wish that I wasn't here anymore

And that's what's happening now.

If only I could be more happier independently, if only I could see the real value of everything around me, maybe I'd be having a better life now

Why do I even want his attention though? It's just a big waste of time, nothing works. After I talk with him, the conversation stops and will never start again unless if I start it.
She's so lucky he talks to her, I- I wish I was her
She's way better than me, everybody loves her so much, she's better than me, she's better than me, and she's better than me
That's how I think right now, because you'd rather talk to her than to me. I bet you won't even see this, will you? I don't even think I'm of any value to you, I'm sure I don't mean anything to you, and if I'm gone you wouldn't even notice it!
I wonder how happy you could be without me... Probably happier than when I'm there.
If only I could feel the same about you, if only I could do the same with you, maybe I'd be happier, maybe it really is happier without me
And I'm starting to lose my mind because of it, if you hate me just say that you do! I'm so tired whenever you tell me that I'm important to you or anything but then will rather talk to someone else than me-
I hate these feelings. I hate, I hate.
I hate everything I think about
I can easily numb physical pain, but... Why does 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 linger?
It feels like it's carved in my heart, since you started to ignore me.
I wish I could ignore all of these and ignore you as much as you do to me but













꒐ ꉔꋬꋊ꓄
ꁝꄲꅐ ꒯ꄲ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꒯ꄲ ꓄ꁝꋬ꓄? ꒐'꒯ ꒒ꄲ꒦ꏂ ꓄ꄲ ꒒ꏂꋬꋪꋊ ꊰꋪꄲꂵ ꌦꄲ꒤. <3
ꃳ꒤꓄ ꌦꄲ꒤'꒒꒒ ꒻꒤ꇙ꓄ ꉣꋪꄲꃳꋬꃳ꒒ꌦ ꒐ꍌꋊꄲꋪꏂ ꂵꏂ ꋬꍌꋬ꒐ꋊ, ꒒꒐ꀘꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꋬ꒒ꅐꋬꌦꇙ ꒯ꄲ. <33
ꌦꄲ꒤ ꏂ꒦ꏂꋊ ꊰꄲꋪꍌꄲ꓄ ꒐꓄ ꅐꋬꇙ ꄲ꒤ꋪ ꋬꋊꋊ꒐꒦ꏂꋪꇙꋬꋪꌦ, ꄲꋪ ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꒻꒤ꇙ꓄ ꒯꒐꒯ꋊ'꓄ ꋪꏂꋬ꒒꒒ꌦ ꉔꋬꋪꏂ ꋬꃳꄲ꒤꓄ ꒐꓄ ꋬꇙ ꂵ꒤ꉔꁝ ꋬꇙ ꒐ ꒯ꄲ, ꄲꋪ ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꇙ꒐ꂵꉣ꒒ꌦ ꒯ꄲꋊ'꓄. <333
꒐ ꒯ꄲꋊ'꓄ ꒯ꏂꇙꏂꋪ꒦ꏂ ꓄ꄲ ꃳꋪꏂꋬ꓄ꁝꏂ, ꅐꁝꌦ? ꒐ ꓄ꁝꄲ꒤ꍌꁝ꓄ ꃳꋬ꒯ ꉣꏂꄲꉣ꒒ꏂ ꒒꒐ꀘꏂ ꂵꏂ ꋬꋪꏂ ꇙ꒤ꉣꉣꄲꇙꏂ꒯ ꓄ꄲ ꒯꒐ꏂ, ꌦꄲ꒤'꒒꒒ ꃳꏂ ꅐꋬꌦ ꅐꋬꌦ ꅐꋬꌦ ꁝꋬꉣꉣ꒐ꏂꋪ ꃳꌦ ꓄ꁝꏂꋊ.
ꌦꄲ꒤'꒯ ꃳꏂ ꁝꋬ꒦꒐ꋊꍌ ꋬ ꅐꄲꋊ꒯ꏂꋪꊰ꒤꒒ ꒒꒐ꊰꏂ, ꋬꋊ꒯ ꅐꁝꄲ ꀘꋊꄲꅐꇙ, ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤'꒒꒒ ꊰ꒐ꋊ꒯ ꇙꄲꂵꏂꄲꋊꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꋬꉔ꓄꒤ꋬ꒒꒒ꌦ ꉔꋬꋪꏂ ꋬꃳꄲ꒤꓄, ꄲꋪ ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꋬ꒒ꋪꏂꋬ꒯ꌦ ꒯꒐꒯.

Maybe it is better to enjoy the rest of my life, instead of being upset over a small thing. A lot of stuff matters a lot more than the things I mostly think about, if I could only feel that way-
I just don't feel like I'm still there, I bet if I hadn't talked in a few days, nothing would've really happened tbh,



And it's supposed to be like that
If I keep thinking about *that* then my own emotions and feelings would go out of control and control me instead of them being controlled by me.

If everything keeps going the same way, then everything will get worse until some point I'd wish that I wasn't here anymore

And that's what's happening now.

If only I could be more happier independently, if only I could see the real value of everything around me, maybe I'd be having a better life now

Why do I even want his attention though? It's just a big waste of time, nothing works. After I talk with him, the conversation stops and will never start again unless if I start it.
She's so lucky he talks to her, I- I wish I was her
She's way better than me, everybody loves her so much, she's better than me, she's better than me, and she's better than me
That's how I think right now, because you'd rather talk to her than to me. I bet you won't even see this, will you? I don't even think I'm of any value to you, I'm sure I don't mean anything to you, and if I'm gone you wouldn't even notice it!
I wonder how happy you could be without me... Probably happier than when I'm there.
If only I could feel the same about you, if only I could do the same with you, maybe I'd be happier, maybe it really is happier without me
And I'm starting to lose my mind because of it, if you hate me just say that you do! I'm so tired whenever you tell me that I'm important to you or anything but then will rather talk to someone else than me-
I hate these feelings. I hate, I hate.
I hate everything I think about
I can easily numb physical pain, but... Why does 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 linger?
It feels like it's carved in my heart, since you started to ignore me.
I wish I could ignore all of these and ignore you as much as you do to me but













꒐ ꉔꋬꋊ꓄
ꁝꄲꅐ ꒯ꄲ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꒯ꄲ ꓄ꁝꋬ꓄? ꒐'꒯ ꒒ꄲ꒦ꏂ ꓄ꄲ ꒒ꏂꋬꋪꋊ ꊰꋪꄲꂵ ꌦꄲ꒤. <3
ꃳ꒤꓄ ꌦꄲ꒤'꒒꒒ ꒻꒤ꇙ꓄ ꉣꋪꄲꃳꋬꃳ꒒ꌦ ꒐ꍌꋊꄲꋪꏂ ꂵꏂ ꋬꍌꋬ꒐ꋊ, ꒒꒐ꀘꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꋬ꒒ꅐꋬꌦꇙ ꒯ꄲ. <33
ꌦꄲ꒤ ꏂ꒦ꏂꋊ ꊰꄲꋪꍌꄲ꓄ ꒐꓄ ꅐꋬꇙ ꄲ꒤ꋪ ꋬꋊꋊ꒐꒦ꏂꋪꇙꋬꋪꌦ, ꄲꋪ ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꒻꒤ꇙ꓄ ꒯꒐꒯ꋊ'꓄ ꋪꏂꋬ꒒꒒ꌦ ꉔꋬꋪꏂ ꋬꃳꄲ꒤꓄ ꒐꓄ ꋬꇙ ꂵ꒤ꉔꁝ ꋬꇙ ꒐ ꒯ꄲ, ꄲꋪ ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꇙ꒐ꂵꉣ꒒ꌦ ꒯ꄲꋊ'꓄. <333
꒐ ꒯ꄲꋊ'꓄ ꒯ꏂꇙꏂꋪ꒦ꏂ ꓄ꄲ ꃳꋪꏂꋬ꓄ꁝꏂ, ꅐꁝꌦ? ꒐ ꓄ꁝꄲ꒤ꍌꁝ꓄ ꃳꋬ꒯ ꉣꏂꄲꉣ꒒ꏂ ꒒꒐ꀘꏂ ꂵꏂ ꋬꋪꏂ ꇙ꒤ꉣꉣꄲꇙꏂ꒯ ꓄ꄲ ꒯꒐ꏂ, ꌦꄲ꒤'꒒꒒ ꃳꏂ ꅐꋬꌦ ꅐꋬꌦ ꅐꋬꌦ ꁝꋬꉣꉣ꒐ꏂꋪ ꃳꌦ ꓄ꁝꏂꋊ.
ꌦꄲ꒤'꒯ ꃳꏂ ꁝꋬ꒦꒐ꋊꍌ ꋬ ꅐꄲꋊ꒯ꏂꋪꊰ꒤꒒ ꒒꒐ꊰꏂ, ꋬꋊ꒯ ꅐꁝꄲ ꀘꋊꄲꅐꇙ, ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤'꒒꒒ ꊰ꒐ꋊ꒯ ꇙꄲꂵꏂꄲꋊꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꋬꉔ꓄꒤ꋬ꒒꒒ꌦ ꉔꋬꋪꏂ ꋬꃳꄲ꒤꓄, ꄲꋪ ꂵꋬꌦꃳꏂ ꌦꄲ꒤ ꋬ꒒ꋪꏂꋬ꒯ꌦ ꒯꒐꒯.

We don't have any ropes rn

We don't have any ropes rn

We don't have any ropes rn

Is it really bad to crave attention?? I never had any when I was younger! Everybody stares at me like I'm some alien or whatever the hell they're thinking about me
It's always them who gets attention
Why does nobody want me?
I view life as a competition, and I'm losing to everyone

Do you know the thing where your friends are sitting on this table but there was no space for you so you had to sit on the table next to them? I experienced it before
When I was at 1st grade, I met this girl. She was my friend... Or maybe that's what I thought. One day I was with her and her friends, we were playing with one of her friends' clay set thing. We went to sit on a table, but they made me sit on the table next to them because there was no room for me (fun fact: there was). They ignored every single thing I said as if like I wasn't even there. They let me play with their clay but only the mixed up one, the one they didn't need. That time I pretended that it's fine, but I'm not.
When I make a joke, nobody laughs, but then when this other person says the same joke I made, everybody laughs. I'm happy that my joke made sense, haha.

My eyes hurt lol

I feel so down that nobody would dare pick me up

Mom really needs to get me a therapist, dammit.

Mom really needs to get me a therapist, dammit.

Mom really needs to get me a therapist, dammit.

I should've listened. I shouldn't have been too attached. If anybody could delete my memory or feelings or something, please. Please do. I'm begging you. Nobody has ever made me feel like this before. I can't help myself, please help me.

I should've listened. I shouldn't have been too attached. If anybody could delete my memory or feelings or something, please. Please do. I'm begging you. Nobody has ever made me feel like this before. I can't help myself, please help me.

I should've listened. I shouldn't have been too attached. If anybody could delete my memory or feelings or something, please. Please do. I'm begging you. Nobody has ever made me feel like this before. I can't help myself, please help me.

I'm so tired.

None of those will come true, right?

&#100; &#111; &#110; &#39; &#116; &#32; &#103; &#101; &#116; &#32; &#116; &#111; &#111; &#32; &#97; &#116; &#116; &#97; &#99; &#104; &#101; &#100; &#46; &#10; &#100; &#111; &#110; &#39; &#116; &#32; &#103; &#101; &#116; &#32; &#116; &#111; &#111; &#32; &#97; &#116; &#116; &#97; &#99; &#104; &#101; &#100; &#46; &#10; &#100; &#111; &#110; &#39; &#116; &#32; &#103; &#101; &#116; &#32; &#116; &#111; &#111; &#32; &#97; &#116; &#116; &#97; &#99; &#104; &#101; &#100; &#46; &#10; &#100; &#111; &#110; &#39; &#116; &#32; &#103; &#101; &#116; &#32; &#116; &#111; &#111; &#32; &#97; &#116; &#116; &#97; &#99; &#104; &#101; &#100; &#46; &#10; &#100; &#111; &#110; &#39; &#116; &#32; &#103; &#101; &#116; &#32; &#116; &#111; &#111; &#32; &#97; &#116; &#116; &#97; &#99; &#104; &#101; &#100; &#46; &#10; &#100; &#111; &#110; &#39; &#116; &#32; &#103; &#101; &#116; &#32; &#116; &#111; &#111; &#32; &#97; &#116; &#116; &#97; &#99; &#104; &#101; &#100; &#46; &#10; &#100; &#111; &#110; &#39; &#116; &#32; &#103; &#101; &#116; &#32; &#116; &#111; &#111; &#32; &#97; &#116; &#116; &#97; &#99; &#104; &#101; &#100; &#46; &#10; &#100; &#111; &#110; &#39; &#116; &#32; &#103; &#101; &#116; &#32; &#116; &#111; &#111; &#32; &#102; &#117; &#99; &#107; &#105; &#110; &#103; &#32; &#97; &#116; &#116; &#97; &#99; &#104; &#101; &#100; &#46; &#10;

Hello
It's me– if anybody remembers
I'm considering going back here bc why not, though i might've changed because