Why my posted art is SO bad? The answer.
The reason is quite simple — I'm scared. I'm not even sure, what I am scared of. Partly, that's a fear of success, partly some nagging voice from distant memories of obscure internet experiences (the one, that insists — if you publish anything online, it should be good, or else... petty little liar, what to say).
But mostly it's a fear of a new, difficult task — learning, how to draw. And digitally as well. So, I'm endlessly preparing myself for the hardships. Old glitchy laptop with awful colour balance, my lack of knowledge, no scanner and so on.
Needless to say, most of the time I drew digitally only when I absolutely have to. And my actual practice time always clashed with drawing contests, birthdays, requests, assignments... Everything I'd better draw something good for.
This resulted in repeated behaviour of a kind — if I draw digitally, I 1) have to draw better 2) have to do it fast 3) will show it to other people 4) need to wrestle my laptop again.
Alas, drawing digitally = a huge stress.
But if there's something I learned from self-education, I wasn't going to achieve anything this way. The best way to learn something for me is taking turns between taking information in, thinking it over, memorising and a lot of practice without too much thinking or care.
And that's what I'm starting to do here. Drawing more and posting more, taking quantity over quality. Until I'm not scared or ashamed of the process of making digital art and sharing it. Until it's my routine. So, please, bear with me for a while I'll get there.