I just don't know anymore.........
My art, I went through a stage where I thought it was SHIT and then I got better and grew to like it, but now, I'm going through the stage of hating my art

I'm not going to post art until I feel like I'm good enough again
I'm also wanting to change my art style a little bit.... Its only my digital art I'm struggling with, I'm fine with my traditional

I don't know....All I know is I need inprovment

Why do i suddenly have a wierd obsession with the colors pink and red?
I made them with medibang and google images thats why they might look shitty lol.

Why do i suddenly have a wierd obsession with the colors pink and red?
I made them with medibang and google images thats why they might look shitty lol.

I never said goodbye to anybody, never shed a single tear, nobody said anything, like it was just another normal day.
Wow.
For a chapter of my life coming to a close, that was probably as lifeless as it could possibly get.
I’m disappointed.

Im feeling a bit better lately...
I was like.... looking back on video's from a while ago..... i took silly video's with my friends and pets and my brother, and i seen how sick i looked. I realized how happy i used to be on medibang (and when i people called me the myspace queen because i posted non-stop). Im sorry if now im dragging down the mood, i wont be myself for a while.
I keep waking up, i have alot of things on my mind rn.
Im sorry for hiding the anorexia thing.. even worse when i came back i didnt give an explanation of why i left, i just covered it pretending i was ok. I didnt suspect smth was wrong and no one else did because i seemed so happy, till it hit me what i done to myself, when i was at the doctor i explained my symptoms and i was told im anorexic. Before when i stopped feeding myself thought i was doing the right thing, i was obviosly not. Thats why i was never really a sad person because my problems never really brought me down so i kept being the happy person i was. I hope i can return to myself, the happy me who posted nonstop..
.
Im trying my hardest to make art.....i have something a work in progress, two things actually. I havent posted in ages im sorry 😐

Im feeling a bit better lately...
I was like.... looking back on video's from a while ago..... i took silly video's with my friends and pets and my brother, and i seen how sick i looked. I realized how happy i used to be on medibang (and when i people called me the myspace queen because i posted non-stop). Im sorry if now im dragging down the mood, i wont be myself for a while.
I keep waking up, i have alot of things on my mind rn.
Im sorry for hiding the anorexia thing.. even worse when i came back i didnt give an explanation of why i left, i just covered it pretending i was ok. I didnt suspect smth was wrong and no one else did because i seemed so happy, till it hit me what i done to myself, when i was at the doctor i explained my symptoms and i was told im anorexic. Before when i stopped feeding myself thought i was doing the right thing, i was obviosly not. Thats why i was never really a sad person because my problems never really brought me down so i kept being the happy person i was. I hope i can return to myself, the happy me who posted nonstop..
.
Im trying my hardest to make art.....i have something a work in progress, two things actually. I havent posted in ages im sorry 😐

Im feeling a bit better lately...
I was like.... looking back on video's from a while ago..... i took silly video's with my friends and pets and my brother, and i seen how sick i looked. I realized how happy i used to be on medibang (and when i people called me the myspace queen because i posted non-stop). Im sorry if now im dragging down the mood, i wont be myself for a while.
I keep waking up, i have alot of things on my mind rn.
Im sorry for hiding the anorexia thing.. even worse when i came back i didnt give an explanation of why i left, i just covered it pretending i was ok. I didnt suspect smth was wrong and no one else did because i seemed so happy, till it hit me what i done to myself, when i was at the doctor i explained my symptoms and i was told im anorexic. Before when i stopped feeding myself thought i was doing the right thing, i was obviosly not. Thats why i was never really a sad person because my problems never really brought me down so i kept being the happy person i was. I hope i can return to myself, the happy me who posted nonstop..
.
Im trying my hardest to make art.....i have something a work in progress, two things actually. I havent posted in ages im sorry 😐

I never said goodbye to anybody, never shed a single tear, nobody said anything, like it was just another normal day.
Wow.
For a chapter of my life coming to a close, that was probably as lifeless as it could possibly get.
I’m disappointed.

This is the last day of high school for me
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Tame these glorious photo's!

Yeh u know what, ill be off for a while, im tured and feel like shit so.... :/
U can hmu bc imbored when i come back

What did i miss?
,
.
.
.
Im back frens! :))
Whats all this "art street" stuff? Is it no longer medibang?
Anywhoooooo what did i miss 😃

So i wanted to inform you guys about this for quite awhile now so...heres whats going on...I've been dealing with Cyclothymia which is similar to bipolar but is less intense but..really its worse..if you dont know what it is then you can look it up...with this happening to me i always and everyday cry for no reason and some reasons, this causes me to have major depression and emotional highs and lows...this effects on how i socialize and my personality...then today i had a slight seizure from twisting stomach cramps from my period...i could barley walk..so later i took some medicine for it and almost choked to death and vomited almost..im constantly always sick and unhealthy with my sleeping schedule and Mental Health. So later on I tried to fake a smile so I can make it but that was because I didn't know how to make any friends because of how I was acting back then but seeing how many friends I've made it's really surprising on how they are so supportive and caring about me after everything I've done that I regret so I'm here to say this before I go on break. I'm sorry for everything I did I wish I could have been a better person I'll be back soon I just need to get a hold of myself. I'll see you guys later I love you guys take care.

Im a little happier today (night for me)
I just wanna talk..... a small catch up since ive been gone for like forever.
Should i update my meet the artist? Since y'know, ive changed lots since then. Like, im not 18 anymore and my measurements have changed..
My eyes are sore lol.
I just wanna talk to ppl, im lonely and my roomates are sleeping.
Im not home atm. Im in a dormy apartment kinda house thingy because of university x.x
I thought highschool was hectic, but i am enjoying myself and i have a doctors apointment in a few days.
Name a thing you done for the first time?
i was put on an iv drip, never done that before, its honestly frightening.
I had soju (not right now a few months ago)
And..... well i never drove a motorcycle or driven a car.
What type of cars do you like?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ill go to sleep soon i promise

Im a little happier today (night for me)
I just wanna talk..... a small catch up since ive been gone for like forever.
Should i update my meet the artist? Since y'know, ive changed lots since then. Like, im not 18 anymore and my measurements have changed..
My eyes are sore lol.
I just wanna talk to ppl, im lonely and my roomates are sleeping.
Im not home atm. Im in a dormy apartment kinda house thingy because of university x.x
I thought highschool was hectic, but i am enjoying myself and i have a doctors apointment in a few days.
Name a thing you done for the first time?
i was put on an iv drip, never done that before, its honestly frightening.
I had soju (not right now a few months ago)
And..... well i never drove a motorcycle or driven a car.
What type of cars do you like?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ill go to sleep soon i promise

Im a little happier today (night for me)
I just wanna talk..... a small catch up since ive been gone for like forever.
Should i update my meet the artist? Since y'know, ive changed lots since then. Like, im not 18 anymore and my measurements have changed..
My eyes are sore lol.
I just wanna talk to ppl, im lonely and my roomates are sleeping.
Im not home atm. Im in a dormy apartment kinda house thingy because of university x.x
I thought highschool was hectic, but i am enjoying myself and i have a doctors apointment in a few days.
Name a thing you done for the first time?
i was put on an iv drip, never done that before, its honestly frightening.
I had soju (not right now a few months ago)
And..... well i never drove a motorcycle or driven a car.
What type of cars do you like?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ill go to sleep soon i promise

What did i miss?
,
.
.
.
Im back frens! :))
Whats all this "art street" stuff? Is it no longer medibang?
Anywhoooooo what did i miss 😃

I just wanna talk to someone :)
.
I am no longer a highschool student, and in my next birthday im going to be 20!! 😱 (19 in western years), 19 is adult in korea, and i am 19 right now! Im no longer a teenager but due to not being on here for a while i dont know if i told anybody or not or if i posted on my birthday the 13th october (i think i did... yeah i did i posted about my first time drinking). I graduated while i wasnt on medibang and ife has been hectic, the big transition from highschool to university.
.
How is everyone? Are you guys well? ^_^

Im a little happier today (night for me)
I just wanna talk..... a small catch up since ive been gone for like forever.
Should i update my meet the artist? Since y'know, ive changed lots since then. Like, im not 18 anymore and my measurements have changed..
My eyes are sore lol.
I just wanna talk to ppl, im lonely and my roomates are sleeping.
Im not home atm. Im in a dormy apartment kinda house thingy because of university x.x
I thought highschool was hectic, but i am enjoying myself and i have a doctors apointment in a few days.
Name a thing you done for the first time?
i was put on an iv drip, never done that before, its honestly frightening.
I had soju (not right now a few months ago)
And..... well i never drove a motorcycle or driven a car.
What type of cars do you like?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ill go to sleep soon i promise

Im a little happier today (night for me)
I just wanna talk..... a small catch up since ive been gone for like forever.
Should i update my meet the artist? Since y'know, ive changed lots since then. Like, im not 18 anymore and my measurements have changed..
My eyes are sore lol.
I just wanna talk to ppl, im lonely and my roomates are sleeping.
Im not home atm. Im in a dormy apartment kinda house thingy because of university x.x
I thought highschool was hectic, but i am enjoying myself and i have a doctors apointment in a few days.
Name a thing you done for the first time?
i was put on an iv drip, never done that before, its honestly frightening.
I had soju (not right now a few months ago)
And..... well i never drove a motorcycle or driven a car.
What type of cars do you like?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ill go to sleep soon i promise

Im a little happier today (night for me)
I just wanna talk..... a small catch up since ive been gone for like forever.
Should i update my meet the artist? Since y'know, ive changed lots since then. Like, im not 18 anymore and my measurements have changed..
My eyes are sore lol.
I just wanna talk to ppl, im lonely and my roomates are sleeping.
Im not home atm. Im in a dormy apartment kinda house thingy because of university x.x
I thought highschool was hectic, but i am enjoying myself and i have a doctors apointment in a few days.
Name a thing you done for the first time?
i was put on an iv drip, never done that before, its honestly frightening.
I had soju (not right now a few months ago)
And..... well i never drove a motorcycle or driven a car.
What type of cars do you like?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ill go to sleep soon i promise

What did i miss?
,
.
.
.
Im back frens! :))
Whats all this "art street" stuff? Is it no longer medibang?
Anywhoooooo what did i miss 😃

What did i miss?
,
.
.
.
Im back frens! :))
Whats all this "art street" stuff? Is it no longer medibang?
Anywhoooooo what did i miss 😃

I just wanna talk to someone :)
.
I am no longer a highschool student, and in my next birthday im going to be 20!! 😱 (19 in western years), 19 is adult in korea, and i am 19 right now! Im no longer a teenager but due to not being on here for a while i dont know if i told anybody or not or if i posted on my birthday the 13th october (i think i did... yeah i did i posted about my first time drinking). I graduated while i wasnt on medibang and ife has been hectic, the big transition from highschool to university.
.
How is everyone? Are you guys well? ^_^

I just wanna talk to someone :)
.
I am no longer a highschool student, and in my next birthday im going to be 20!! 😱 (19 in western years), 19 is adult in korea, and i am 19 right now! Im no longer a teenager but due to not being on here for a while i dont know if i told anybody or not or if i posted on my birthday the 13th october (i think i did... yeah i did i posted about my first time drinking). I graduated while i wasnt on medibang and ife has been hectic, the big transition from highschool to university.
.
How is everyone? Are you guys well? ^_^

I know im just spamming myspace with crap, and rants, maybe like one good thing....
But why did i actually leave
Truth is im not well........
Ive been hiding it saying "oh doctor said im fine" "i might look sick but im not im okay!" And shit like that. Im a 6'0 female who weighs 45kg! Im obviously not a healthy weight. I hide alot of shit, from my parents and my friends. I act like im ok, but im not. Beauty standards make me sick, over here your only pretty if your skinny, but if your too skinny, your also up there with the heavier people. I didnt eat to become perfect, i wanted to feel good. My breaks are because of school, and my focus on recovery. My bmi (i know, not the best way to discover if im ok) was 13.6, somebody my height should be 140lbs to 183lbs! My knees would point through my legs, you could see my ribs and hibones, my face was so slim and my spine, dont get me started. This is such a private matter to me, not something i thought id ever share, ever. But ive built up courage to say it, you all deserve the truth..
I have recovered, im still a bit boney but now i can say i weigh 139lbs, normal. I wont ever go down that road again, ever.
I better stop before i drown myself in tears...

Ive made myself feel 10 times worse....
Ive been looking through my old messages with people and realized how cringey i was x.x
Im sorry guys

I just did five more pages today.
My arm is killing me, but I like how the pages turned out.
Altho I'm too tired to put in the word bubbles rn, so the story makes no sense to the reader lol
Don't think anyone cares but whatever I guess XP
Goodnight x.x

I just did five more pages today.
My arm is killing me, but I like how the pages turned out.
Altho I'm too tired to put in the word bubbles rn, so the story makes no sense to the reader lol
Don't think anyone cares but whatever I guess XP
Goodnight x.x