Only one person will get this :D

Only one person will get this :D

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When I was a kid, I hid my heart under the bed because my mother said, if you're not careful, someday, someone's gonna break it.
Take it from me, under the bed is not a good hiding spot.
I know because I've been shot down so many times I get altitude sickness just from standing up for myself.
When I was a kid, I could fill a bookshelf with every way they told me how not to play.
They'd say it's time to start putting childish things away, and I was like, fuck you, I am Skeletor.
But more and more they made me believe that our hearts are like door knocks.
And that's where we get the sounds of the beat.
And I'll never get to meet the man inside, if I can't stay still long enough to be there.
I'll never make it anywhere if I keep running away, I'll never know myself if all I ever do is play Niki-Niki-Nine to where I don't wanna be a "man".
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a "man".
I wanted registered retirement savings, plan that would keep me and candy long enough to make old age sweet.
I wanted two left feet, so I could dance circles around important issues, until way past my bed time.
I'm not saying I don't have opinions.
Just that others will less likely to argue if they were as tired as I was.
Fatigued as to Amen what a good night kiss does to kids.
It puts weight on our eyelids and returns us to a place where reason and imagination laced together shoes whose tongues stuck out at stillness and beckoned us to move forwards.
As a kid I was always drawn toward moonlight.
Despite an armada of adults who insisted I must set my days according to sunlight.
I would lay in bed and fight sleep believing if I shut my eyes even for an instant I would miss out on something amazing.
Turns out I was right.
I have seen stars stamped into the night like cookie cutter designs.
Drew lines between each one inventing new constellations, so when someone would ask me, what's your sign?
I would point to mine.
The one hanging over the first door past the finish line and say, "It's right there".
The one marked exit because one day all this getting ahead bullshit will be over.
And people will start looking for me and I'll be there.
I'll wear my best flashing red and you will stand winner circle throughout bred I will unthread the screws that would put you throughout this life, then smile and say, "You made it".
When I was a kid I traded in homework assignments for friendship, and gave each friend a late slip for never showing up on time, and in most cases not at all.
I gave myself a hall pass to get through each broken promise, and I remember this plan born outta frustration.
From a kid who kept calling me Yogi, then pointed to my tummy and said, too many picnic baskets?
Turns out that's not too hard to trick someone and one day before class I said, Yeah, you can copy my homework.
And I gave him all the wrong answers that I've written down the night before.
He got his paper back expecting a near perfect score and he couldn't believe when he looked across the room at me and held up a zero.
I know I didn't have to hold up my paper of 28/30.
But my satisfaction was complete when he looked completely puzzled and I thought to myself,
"Smarter than the average bear, Mother Fucker"!
When I was a kid I slid love letters through the slots of lockers that belonged to my secret crushes.
I built paintbrushes from the tiny hairs that stood up on end every time I saw them.
My brain stem finally bloomed with thought I connected the dots and made masterpieces.
Each brush stroke a thesis dedicated to the explanation that you, not knowing who I was, was only because anonymity made it easier to be brave.
I dipped my brush into a tidal wave of I hope this will one day wash over me.
I can guarantee if you've ever had a secret admirer it was someone very much like me.
Who loved someone very much like you, with someone who wanted to tell you how much you've meant, how every second we spent thinking of you, was simply the cost of getting us through the hard times, we saved nickels and dimes hoping our first date would be with you.
So  the disappoint of love we gave up comic books and video games, and I promise you every guy I've ever met remembers the names of the ones they loved first.
That our thirst for love continues as we cross the deserts of maybe, believing we will find an oasis of yes...
Acquiesce...
Yes...
We probably should just have said something, but we were chicken shit.
We lit the fuses of our hearts and exploded every time you walked on by.
When I was a kid, I did stupid shit.
I ripped out the women's underwear section out of the Sears Christmas catalog and blamed it on my Grandad.
He ended up covering for me and this is all he had to say.
"You're only twelve! So I'm impressed, but take it from experience, don't hide that under your mattress."
So I didn't.
I hid it in an empty box of a board game I never used to play, and on the day when my grandmother eventually found it she reamed him out for hiding pornography in her Grandson's bedroom.
The impending doom of the truth set upon me like a die in the sun sending it's last ray of light over the horizon and aimed directly at me.
He didn't say a word incurred the full wrath, then laughed with me later, sayin'  it's like your heart it doesn't matter where you hide it.
Lovers are like little kids lifting up a rock looking for an insect, they will find that shit.
When I was a kid, I trusted myself enough to know that one day, I'd be a man.
One day I'd have a childhood for a past and a future for a backup plan.
That every gauntlet I ever ran was a potato sack race in which time would chase me further toward an ending.
I am bending myself back to the beginning.
Reminding myself there is no winning any race against yourself.
Slow down...
And when the kid in you falls, turn around pick them up, dust them off, then continue.
Trust me, you're gonna need that kid.
You're gonna need someone to remind you that every weed, is a flower.
Just trying to make shit work.
And every jerk you ever encounter is just another someone who somehow forgot it's okay, to need a hug.
It's okay, to be afraid
When I was kid, I played hopscotch with the lines that's drawn on the sand and landed on the conclusion  that second hand clothes, at last benefit of experience, and I've got a 137th hand heart.
Broken apart and stitched back together at the seams.
I've cartwheeled across balance beams made from the broken finger bones of people who could not let go of this life.
I still love the night.
I love the fact that if you squint your eyes just right, stars look like porcupines of light, stumbling across the dark, dipping their quills into the night.
Trying to write apologizes for all of the unanswered wishes from the times we once wished upon them.
Sometimes I still wish.
Most times I wish I didn't have to.
I wish I didn't have to wish.
So what I guess I am saying is that I hope, I hope I never forget that kid who grew up inside me.
You just seemed to laugh a little bit louder.
Smile just a little bit longer, love a whole lot stronger.
World's first official awesome, taking "awesome" from door to door.
Take as much as you need, don't worry about me I've got more.
I've got a candy store filled with whatever it's going to take to make tomorrow sweet.
I've got two left feet and no bedtime.
I'm still not brave enough to have an orgy, but I  rock the slumber party, come nap with me.
First one to fall asleep loses, first one to fall asleep wins...
The race stops at the start and the finish line is where it begins, so this time first one to lose, wins.
I know, we never meant to turn our hearts into garbage bins.
It was an accident.
I know headlines about us giving up were a misprint and really just bad reporting.
I know why we've been boarding up all the windows from the outside in.
We've been doing it ever since they told us to start letting things go.
And I know we've got into the habit of throwing everything away.
But your heart is a door knock, and every time it beats. It's just that kid's way of saying...
"Can you please come out and play?"
(Idk, I just found this in my notes xP the rain stopped for a minute and now it’s picking back up .-.)

Nobody likes the asshole posing as lakunatik right now.

The rain is loud.
The thunder is loud.
Too loud.
The lightning is bright.
Too bright.
I’m scared.
I’m shaking.
Nothing bad can happen.
But I’m still scared.
I’m in a dark room, alone.
All I scream is help, but in silence.

I walked outside for a couple minutes, and then came back inside with 3 bug bites. How does this happen..?? ;<;

I came up with this this morning and it was really fun:
Comment an emoticon (no emojis) and I'll make a fast sketch of someone doing the emotion. I'm bored as hell.

I walked outside for a couple minutes, and then came back inside with 3 bug bites. How does this happen..?? ;<;

I walked outside for a couple minutes, and then came back inside with 3 bug bites. How does this happen..?? ;<;

I came up with this this morning and it was really fun:
Comment an emoticon (no emojis) and I'll make a fast sketch of someone doing the emotion. I'm bored as hell.

He sat on my foot and it was adorable but I was confused about y he was sitting on my feet out of everyone else xD
And I’m going to see the MEG soon :3

He sat on my foot and it was adorable but I was confused about y he was sitting on my feet out of everyone else xD
And I’m going to see the MEG soon :3

What color eyes??

So I was just casually drawing while sitting on the couch and I decided to stand up. Then I looked down ‘cause idk why but I was lucky I did. THERE WAS A PROBABLY 20 ANTS AROUND MY HOOVER DAMED FEET AND STILL MORE GOING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE KITCHEN AND THE LIVING ROOM. So I just jumped over the couch and fell over :T. Oof. *cri* It was so beautiful QwQ. Now my chest hurts. Im just really paranoid right now ‘cause I think there’s ants on me.........I hate bugs so much .-.

As my theme song
Like which one describes me best
NotUrFavoriteSong
Sorry
I’m feeling bitchy right now
:’D

Sooooooo I got half my toenail ripped off so that’s great! It bled for a while and I also have the possibility of having half a toenail for the rest of my life. Hehehe help me!!!! I tried to show my mom to ask if it was bad but she didn’t wanna look so I just slapped a bandaid on it. WANNA PICTURE???

Ohhhh boy.
Oooooooohhhhh man.
So.
I’m just gonna get to the point straight away.
To start off, the kids are really immature. (Or at least most)
They make (admittedly annoying) jokes all the time, and it gets under my skin.
Not just regular puns or jokes, but fart jokes.
These kids are still infatuated with potty humor.
...none of the kids talked to me lol
even if I tried to start a conversation
Anyways, the school dress code is unbelievably strict, even dress-coding SOCKS.
S O C K S .
I had a panic attack at the gym, so I talked to the counselor (who is really sweet) and ate my lunch in her office.
I’m just not sure if I’ll be able to put up with this for 8 or so more months.
h
h
h
At least tomorrow is free-dress day :’’’)

What did I make ;-;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAzKZz6w1xk

“Edges emo grunge. . . Ew”
“Freak”
“Is it a male or female??”
“He’s imperfect”
“I hear she’s bi”
“Depression? Low Self Esteem? More like attention getter”
“Ugly”
“Waste of Space”
“Antisocial extrovert? That’s what it calles it self? What an Idiot”
“Pan. . . Sexual... the hell even is that”
“Atheist... more like stupid”
“Vampire”
“It doesn’t eat or drink, or sleep??
No wonder it looks like hell”

But I assure you
I have friends irl too
Who are helping me in so many ways
Yet it hurts me everyday to lie to them
And say I trust them
*screech*
*dissapears into the shadows*

-3-
It hurts too .-.

-3-
It hurts too .-.

Now im cleaning it cause i just feel like having too many friends is overwhelming me really so i thought im just going to fuckin clean it cause why not, Also if you still want to be on my friends list just say "me" so i know i can keep you, but dont come complaining to me "why did you unfriend me!?" cause all im going to say is, read this topic and move on, thats all

I was asked to do Betty doing something goofy by popular vote (and by that I mean two people).
But I don’t know if I want to do it in notebook or electronically.
So what would you prefer?

My Baby for the next 5 years hopefully
Cause My parents r gonna hold me to it...but uhmm I don't have a Geetarrr (guitar) pik (pick) yet but I need to get one cause uhhmm...I am trying a E chord and well My fingers hurt already xD

I gave myself a paper cut on purpose.